Some of the worst excuses given by people who have not mastered the art

Let’s face it, at some point in our lives we have needed to make up an excuse to get out of something.

Whether it’s because you don’t want to go to school or work or you just want to cancel on a friend, sometimes you just know that ‘I don’t want to go’ isn’t going to cut it.

Instead, we’re expected to weave some kind of elaborate fairytale as to why we couldn’t make whatever event we were supposed to attend.

Of course, sometimes we do have a genuine reason why we can’t come, but the reason might seem too weird to actually believe

Today, Cambridge academics revealed that figuring out a good reason for why you’re at fault is by demonstrating your underlying favourable intentions. 

We at Metro.co.uk put a call out for people to tell us their weird and wacky excuses, and were not disappointed at the responses.

Some of our favourites have been collated below for your enjoyment.

Sophie

‘My dog was sick, I couldn’t come.’

“I sat on a bee”

— Katie Khan (@katie_khan) July 1, 2019

If I'm ever late I always say 'sorry, childcare issues.'

— ???????????????????????? (@terrabulldan) July 1, 2019

Michelle

‘My colleague was once late to a meeting with me because she spent an hour trying to free a pigeon who was stuck behind her fence.’

Rosie

‘When I was 17 I smudged red lipstick around my nose and mouth, put white powder on my face and rubbed my eyes very hard to make it look like I was too ill to go to school.

‘I Reckon my parents saw right through me but I got away with it nonetheless’

I had to end a very bad date. I told him I had to go home and fold laundry. And then, I walked away. This was 20 years ago, I still don't care!

— Skarlet Karson (@IdesKat315) July 1, 2019

Imogen

‘I told someone my friend has had a bowel prolapse and I had to take her to hospital.

‘They couldn’t say no to that but I don’t think they believed it though.’

Martin

‘I once got out of something by saying a relative had died. It came back to haunt me though because several weeks later he did!’

When I lived in a bedsit the 4 other tenants were alcoholics and drug users and partied a lot. I was leaving at 8:30am, about to go down the stairs when the guy in the room next to mine was coming upstairs very drunk and completely off his tits still. It took him 10 minutes to...

— M (@Luathnat) July 1, 2019

Climb a few steps, fall over and slide down a lot until he fell over one last time knocking himself out (he was fine). I had to explain to my boss that I couldn't come in because there was a dude sleeping on the stairs and I had no safe way of clambering over him. He was still

— M (@Luathnat) July 1, 2019

Holding his opened bottle of whiskey and hadn't spilled a drop.

— M (@Luathnat) July 1, 2019

Poppy

‘I told someone I had a date with I had arranged to FaceTime my nan (she doesn’t even have an iPhone) so I needed to leave.

‘I knew it wasn’t going well before the starter even came and I knew I’d need an excuse before dessert and wanted to get it in early.

‘Neither of us asked for a second date.’