I've been an elementary school teacher for the past 12 years, and I think 6 strategies can help kids thrive when they head back to school

• I've been an elementary school teacher for 12 years. 
• Parents should involve their kids when setting a daily routine once school starts. 
• Back-to-school is a busy period; parents should schedule downtime for kids to decompress. 
• This article is part of "Back to School: Parent Prep," a series featuring expert advice on successfully starting the academic year.

The first few months of school are an adjustment for families. After the relaxing days of summer vacation, following a schedule again can feel daunting. As an elementary school teacher for the past 12 years, I have some advice to help your family ease into the first few months of school.   

Involve your child in building routines around school

Kids love to be involved in making rules and planning routines. When they take ownership of routines, it helps them to stick to their schedules.

At home, you can grab a dry-erase board or a piece of paper and markers and make a before-school routine together. You can list "get ready for school" activities, including getting dressed, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. Then ask your children in which order they would like to complete the tasks.

These conversations will let your children reflect on their routines and learn how to optimize them. Keeping the routines posted in a high-traffic part of your home will remind everyone of their responsibilities. Your family can revisit the routines every few weeks to make changes for improvement. Invite your kids to suggest helpful changes as well.  

Use growth-mindset language

The words children speak to themselves influence how they show up in the world. While struggles and frustrations are part of the learning process, teaching children how to reframe their frustration helps them pursue new activities with intention and enthusiasm.

The American psychologist Carol Dweck studied how mindset affects achievement. She said that a fixed mindset is the view that our abilities are innate, while a growth mindset is the view that abilities are the result of continued practice. 

The first few months of school involve learning new tasks, which may be challenging when they're first presented. I keep a poster in my classroom to help my elementary school students gently reframe their self-talk. Instead of saying, "This is too hard," it suggests reframing the sentence to say, "I can do hard things." My students eventually began to use the chart independently and encourage each other. 

Growth-mindset language helps students persevere through challenges and become less afraid of making mistakes. Parents can cultivate a growth mindset at home by reframing fixed-mindset language, reading stories about overcoming challenges, and giving kids opportunities to problem-solve. 

Integrate self-help skills into daily activities

Self-help skills are tasks that children can perform independently. These vary depending on age, but for elementary school students, it can mean getting dressed, following multistep directions, learning to tie shoes, or packing their own backpacks.

These skills are important because they help children's physical development by giving them opportunities to strengthen their gross and fine motor skills. Self-help skills also support the progress of your child's emotional development by presenting them with tasks that will increase their confidence, independence, and perseverance.

When students return to school, they practice self-help skills on a larger scale. Parents can support children's development of these skills by giving them routine opportunities to engage with tasks of varying levels of difficulty, from tying shoes to packing backpacks. This will help kids build resilience when facing challenging tasks.     

Give children a hard copy of their after-school schedules 

The first few months of school are filled with changes for children and parents. Everyone is returning to a new schedule after some time off, which can feel overwhelming. A visual schedule can empower children to take agency of their time.

Children respond well to habits and routines. A visual schedule will let children see when they're taking the bus and when they have after-school activities. For younger elementary students, this schedule can take the form of a sticker chart with the days of the week printed on them. Bus days can have a bus sticker next to them, piano days can have a musical sticker, and so on.  

When children can see their after-school schedules, it gives them a sense of comfort and confidence in knowing what comes next. As time goes on, and these routines become habits, children can use their after-school schedules for time management. Some of my students used their visual schedules to work ahead on assignments so that they wouldn't become overwhelmed on busier after-school days. As a teacher, I love seeing students use their schedules to make time-management decisions. 

Schedule downtime intentionally

Those first few months, going back to school can feel exhausting. Between drop-offs, pickups, after-school activities, back-to-school meetings, and birthday parties, time quickly slips by. Kids are learning new subjects, getting into new routines, and making friends.

These changes are exciting, but they can also be tiring.

While activities are important, so is intentional rest. Set aside time each week for downtime at home, so everyone can choose a low-key activity that helps them unwind and recharge. Your children's moods are a good measure of when it's time to build extra downtime into your schedule. Consistent moodiness, frustration, and tiredness usually mean it's time for a break.

Reframe your goodbyes   

Instead of saying "goodbye" as you drop your child off, say, "Have fun! I can't wait to hear about your day!" This puts more emphasis on the possibilities of the day rather than dwelling on the goodbye, especially as your child transitions into the new school year. 

Some children may have separation anxiety upon entering school during the first few weeks. If the anxiety lasts beyond a few weeks, talk to your child's teacher about ways to ease the transition until your child feels more comfortable.