I’ve fallen hopelessly for the woman in the middle of a love triangle
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M playing second best in a love triangle – and I’ve now fallen hopelessly for the woman in the middle.
Problem is, she is already in a relationship and admits she has strong feelings for the other man, but likes me too.
She is open about the fact he is her No1 and I’m No2.
The only way she says that would ever change is if he goes back on his plan to move in with her in a month’s time.
I’m 19 years old, she’s 21 and this other bloke is 22.
I met this woman online, when we began messaging on Instagram. As time went by our messages became a bit more flirty.
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I tried to stop flirting with her but it’s now six months later and I still have strong feelings. Our relationship has moved on. We message and video call each other regularly and our calls do often become sexual.
At the moment her plan to move in with the other guy seem to be still on track but I find myself obsessively checking his Instagram for any signs that there may be some cracks in their relationship.
How do I proceed? I genuinely like her and she told me she wanted to stay in contact, as she has feelings for me and cares for me.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry, but this woman is already dating someone else – and she isn’t being fair to either of you.
I understand you like her but the facts are that she isn’t free to be with you and you shouldn’t put your life on hold for her – certainly not on the off chance her relationship with the other man may falter.
She’s even stated her feelings are stronger for him than you and that she would only consider being with you if things with him fell through.
She sees you as her back-up plan. Please, don’t settle for that.
That you are happy to be someone’s second choice suggests you have low self-esteem and don’t feel worthy of greater commitment.
Please start to work on that and focus on meeting new people and making new friends.
You deserve someone who is available and wants a proper relationship with you.
Please read my support packs Raising Self-Esteem and Moving On.
Both will help you find someone who regards you as much more than simply their plan B.