My boyfriend I planned to marry dumped me by text for a mistress I didn’t know existed
DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend has dumped me by text and moved in with a mistress I didn’t even know existed.
Instead of consoling me, his mother had the cheek to suggest he left because I wasn’t giving him enough sex.
I’m absolutely furious. He’s been really secretive the past few months and I thought he was planning our wedding — I’ve dropped enough hints.
Instead, he was sleeping with this other woman.
He works in IT and apparently this woman joined his team and is “incredible looking”, according to his mother.
I’m 35 and he’s 34. We were together for eight years and have two young children, who are devastated their dad has disappeared just before Christmas.
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We have hardly seen him, as he’s apparently too busy setting up his new home. So he sends his mum around to collect the children, who then spend an afternoon with him at her house.
In truth, I think he’s too scared to face me. He knows he’s out of order.
Even though I’m angry about his behaviour, I realise the kids need to see their dad, so I’m not getting in the way of that.
But I dread seeing his mum, who seems fixated on defending him, while putting me down at every opportunity.
We always got on well, but last time she visited, she had a real go at me for not making more of myself.
She suggested I had let myself go and created an opportunity for this woman because I never wanted sex.
So now I feel humiliated as well as gutted.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: By way of explanation, rather than excuse, your ex’s mum may feel responsible for her son’s behaviour which is why she is justifying his actions.
But she isn’t helping the situation and her comments are completely unwelcome. Give yourself permission to draw a line in the sand.
Let her know that it’s good for the kids to maintain a relationship with both her and their dad but that you don’t welcome opinions justifying your ex’s behaviour.
His and his mum’s treatment of you is thoughtless, even cruel, so make sure you look after yourself and talk to loved ones.
You have enough on your plate without this careless commentary.
My support packs Standing Up For Yourself and Moving On will help you.