TikTok Is Revealing the ‘Brutal’ Realities of Having a Toddler & a Baby at the Same Time
Maybe you were fooled by the many adorable families having two kids under 2, or maybe it just happened naturally. Either way, you’ve found yourself with a toddler and a baby at home — and it is not easy. One mom on TikTok sparked a conversation about how challenging this age gap can be, and the comments are praising her for her candid comments on the topic.
“2 year age gap brutal honesty,” TikToker @briannawiscount wrote over a video that now has 704k views. Brianna, a mom of two with a 2 year age gap, sits in her car, treating the camera like a best friend and venting about things only people with two little ones will truly understand.
“Not a single soul warned me about this,” Brianna says in the clip. She added, “If you’re one of the poor souls entering this age gap shortly, just know that every day you will be faced with imminent danger repeatedly. Over and over again.” You think she’s joking — but as a mom of 3 including two who are just 18 months apart — I know how real this is.
“You are gonna be stressed the f*ck out,” she continues. “And it’s solely because you gotta keep your kids alive, and you gotta keep your toddler from hurting your infant.” Most of the time, your toddler isn’t actually trying to hurt their baby brother or sister. They just want “to help” — for Brianna’s kids, this could look like her baby boy kicking off a blanket and her toddler daughter putting it back on him … but covering his whole face in the process. “If my son’s in his swing, he’s enjoying his little life, my daughter will go over and jack him up,” she says. “He will be swinging for the hills, like … the poor kid, man.”
Ah, man, I remember those days! Or my son would try to “help” the swing by rocking it with his hands while it was already moving. He would also beg to hold his baby brother, only to try to shove him off his lap when he was done. Younger siblings are made different. They have to be tough!
Even when Brianna encourages her daughter to “be gentle” and use “soft touches” with her baby brother, it only lasts for a second before she’s back to being her regular toddler self (read: destructive and chaotic). It’s so hard to be patient in those moments! You just thought your firstborn was challenging, but you actually got to rest for two seconds back then. Now you have to be on guard all the time!
Brianna told another story about her energetic little girl. “The other day she was running around with a broomstick, right? I thought she was gonna help me sweep ‘cause I was sweeping the patio,” she says. “No. She runs over to my son who’s chilling on his little tummy time mat and starts to like act like she’s gonna swing.”
She ends by admitting that she and her husband are “not OK,” and I’ve never felt more seen. This age gap is so, so difficult. You don’t realize how many minutes are in a day until you are tensed and ready for every single one of them. Other moms spoke up in solidarity in the comments.
“Almost exactly two years apart. Youngest is 11 weeks. We’re in the TRENCHES,” one person wrote. Another shared, “I turned around for 30 seconds and my toddler had the baby’s head through the center of a clothes hanger.”
“Today I had to yell ‘stop vacuuming your brother’ to my two yr old who was trying to clean his 4 mo old baby brother ????♀️this tik tok is so real,” another mom shared. Brianna replied, “All of these comments are truly amazing and it’s so great to have a village of other moms out here trying to survive too!! All of these stories are hilarious but so stressful!!”
Others shared some hope for the future. “I agree!!! BUT as the younger gets older it gets sooo much better when they play and grow together, it gets less stressful!” one person said. Brianna replied, “This is what my husband and I keep telling ourselves!!”
The Cleveland Clinic offers some suggestions to help parents of a newborn and a toddler. These include things like asking your toddler to help fetch diapers, burp clothes, and other small items; stock the changing table; and hold the baby with supervision. Interact with the baby with your toddler and make sure to continue giving one-on-one attention to your toddler when your baby isn’t around. This could look like reading books together while your baby is napping or taking your toddler to the store while someone else watches the baby at home. If you are still struggling with managing this challenging age gap, be sure to talk to your pediatrician for tips.
And when all else fails, know that there is a whole community on TikTok over other moms who can definitely relate! Sometimes, we all just need to vent (and share some horror stories) to feel better.
Before you go, check out these celebrities parents who are living the two under two life.