I'm a single mom to a toddler and only book luxury resorts for us. It allows me to also enjoy our vacation.

• The first time I traveled with my daughter, I chose a family-friendly resort and didn't like it.
• Now, I take my 16-month-old to luxury resorts where we can both enjoy ourselves.
• I was worried I'd stop traveling once she was born but I realized that doesn't have to be the case.

Since I became a mother, my Instagram has been filled with ads for family-friendly hotels and vacations. But, it turned out to be more challenging than I expected to find places where my daughter and I could both enjoy our vacation.

On our first couple of trips together, I opted for family-focused resorts to ease my nervousness about traveling with a baby. Over our first year of traveling together, I learned a lot, including that I will no longer take my toddler to hotels specifically marketed to families — not until she's much older.

I can't relax at family-friendly resorts

The tipping point in this decision was the all-inclusive resort I visited with my baby when she was 16 months old that was so "family-friendly" that they even advertised having a Baby Concierge.

Yet, from the moment we arrived and I had to try to juggle checking in with keeping my toddler away from the huge central water feature — which looked shockingly like a splash pad, even to my adult eyes — to the day we left, exhausted, it was a terrible experience.

They promised a baby pool, but it was actually a kids' pool, way too deep for my toddler. Our room, while lovely, had a treacherously slippery floor. Although several tours and activities were offered through the resort, every single one was scheduled during her mid-day nap. It wasn't a bad resort for families; it just wasn't great for toddlers.

I realized this was typical of family-friendly resorts — while they had great amenities for older kids, they just weren't built for very young children.

Most hotels that market themselves as family-friendly are actually focused on school-aged children. Kids' clubs — a terrific amenity for families with older kids — are typically for ages 5 and up. Other family-marketed activities, like water sports, appeal to tweens and teens. After much futile searching for a hotel that was suited to toddlers, I switched approaches.

Now, we stay at luxury resorts

Now, I opt for luxury hotels, which are sometimes no more expensive than the big resorts marketed to families. As for toddler-focused amenities, every luxury hotel I've encountered has the basics — a crib or pack 'n' play available, along with a mini fridge either standard or on request.

Anything else I need that I don't want to pack (my SlumberPod, for example, or bulky beach toys), I rent through a site like BabyQuip which delivers to the hotel. I give the concierge a heads-up, and it's usually all set up in my room upon check-in, along with anything else I've shipped ahead (like extra diapers from Amazon for long trips).

At luxury hotels, the exceptional service doesn't stop at the concierge. I typically bring a travel-size bottle of dishwashing soap to wash her milk cups and other odds and ends in the bathroom sink. More often than not, housekeeping goes the extra mile to wash and dry these for me when they service the room.

One recent luxury hotel we stayed at offered complimentary laundering, which came in exceptionally handy when my daughter threw up her yogurt all over me. Another toddler-friendly luxury perk you can get when booking through a site like Chase Travel's The Edit is early check-in and late check-out — essential for little ones' midday nap.

I get to enjoy the trip too

Although luxury hotels have a surprising amount of amenities that make traveling with a toddler easier, I don't gravitate to them simply for my daughter's sake. I love the peaceful atmosphere and adult-focused amenities at luxury hotels. I enjoy gourmet dining, soaking tubs, and turn-down service after a long day of parenting in paradise. After all, it's my vacation too!

Before I became a parent, I wasn't sure what travel would look like for me as a new mom; part of me feared that I might stop traveling entirely during this stage of my life. I'm glad that I quickly realized that we could find our own path for how we explored the world — even without family-marketed resorts.