Reflections on life in your 80s

I was telling someone at the gym how things start to catch up to you when you turn 80 years old. I already had started the forgetful stage. That happened in my 70s. It hadn’t gotten any worse until I hit my 80s. Now, I get frustrated because it takes longer to find where I put something down. When I finally find it, I remember why I put it there.

It’s said that the more you move, the more quality and longevity you have in your life. My husband keeps telling me that “motion is the lotion of life.” We go to the gym on a regular basis. I attend an array of classes, but you won’t see me in a spin class. I don’t like riding on a bike going nowhere. My husband rides his road bike and goes somewhere.

I was thinking about Zanette, who was my mother’s best friend. I was close to her all my life. After my mother died, I spent weekends at Zanette’s place in Woodside. I was in my 40s then. One time, Zanette was looking for something on the lower shelves in the kitchen. She had squatted down, and when standing up again, she struggled, holding onto the countertop. I commented on how easy it was to do that and proceeded to squat down and pop up. She said, “Wait until you get old, you’ll see.” Now, her words echo in my mind. It’s my turn now.

I never thought I would have back problems, but I do now. At first, I thought it was my hip, but the doctor said it was my back, so he prescribed physical therapy. The physical therapist wasn’t sure he could help me, given I was in my 80s, but I felt optimistic. He prescribed a series of exercises to do. After a few sessions, my back didn’t seem to improve much, but I did notice my stomach getting flatter, an unintentional benefit — at least that was good for my psyche. In the end, the physical therapist said I needed to see a back specialist.

Usually, it’s possible to see a primary care physician within a week or so. Specialists are different. When I called to make an appointment to see a back specialist, the earliest appointment I could make was in two months.

“We can put you on a waitlist,” said the cheerful scheduler.

I take advantage of the opportunity, but I’m not too optimistic.

Recently, I did have the opportunity to see a specialist earlier than my scheduled appointment, but, when I looked at my appointment book, I realized I had a conflict because I was seeing another doctor that day, so I was unable to take advantage of the appointment.

Not too long ago, my husband said he wanted a railing to help him climb the 14 steps to our bedroom. I protested. I didn’t think we needed one, but now I’m grateful we have it. I use it all the time, not only to grab onto it, but also to pull myself up the stairs. I told my husband that I wanted another railing installed for the other side of the steps. Now, he’s the one who thinks we don’t need it, but I think that once it’s installed, he’ll realize that having the extra railing was a good idea.

Despite the maladies and adjustments that come with living in my 80s, there are benefits. If someone asks if I need help, I’m not afraid to say, “Yes, thank you.”

Sue Curran is a San Rafael resident. IJ readers are invited to share their stories of love, dating, parenting, marriage, friendship and other experiences for our How It Is column, which runs Tuesdays in the Lifestyles section. All stories must not have been published in part or in its entirety previously. Send your stories of no more than 600 words to lifestyles@marinij.com. Please write How It Is in the subject line. The IJ reserves the right to edit them for publication. Please include your full name, address and a daytime phone number.