Getting constantly rejected in bed by my husband is getting me down – he’s also threatening divorce

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband rejects me when I try to have sex with him and it makes me feel so low.

I’m 38 and he is 39.

We’ve been married for 12 years and have two children, aged nine and seven.

Most of the time, we’re happy – but whenever we argue, my husband threatens divorce. It floors me and I just back down.

We sleep in separate bedrooms because I snore.

I’ve tried lots of different products, but nothing works.

Reluctantly, I agreed to sleep in a different room.

I hated it at first, but soon realised the benefits as I actually got some decent rest.

I feel lonely, but if I go into our old bedroom, my husband tells me to p*** off.

He’ll then text me to ask if I’m OK, to make amends.

But I don’t think it’s right to make someone feel bad, night after night.

I don’t know how to get over this misery.

DEIDRE SAYS: Threatening divorce is a controlling and intimidating way to get you to back down. He’s being emotionally abusive.

It’s hard not to take being rejected personally.

Talk to him and ask if he is happy and if there’s anything you can do to help.

Tell him how this is making you feel.

You might also want to suggest relationship counselling.

Find support through tavistockrelationships.org.

Snoring can be a symptom of serious medical problems, such as sleep apnoea.

See your GP.

In the meantime, my pack,

Stopping Snoring, will help.