The real meaning of the secret codes on YOUR child’s phone that weren’t mentioned in Adolescence – from drug chat to sex
KEEPING your child safe online is a terrifying responsibility for parents.
In a world of hashtags, acronyms and code words, it can be hard to know which warning signs to keep your eye out for.
Netflix‘s new drama series, Adolescence, recently shone a light on the murky underbelly of online messaging.
The gripping crime drama follows a baby-faced 13-year-old boy as he gets sucked into misogynistic chat forums, where cryptic emojis are exchanged to communicate secret messages.
The teen then goes on to murder a female classmate, sending both his life and his family’s into a downward spiral.
The show has left parents across the nation wondering if they fully understand the way their children are communicating online.
And it’s not just emojis that can carry a secret meaning, as Nottinghamshire Police have given parents a full list of the code words they need to look out for in their children’s messages.
They’ve identified 52 warning flags for parents to look out for, which relate to drugs, alcohol, sex and mental health.
Drugs
It’s crucial to safeguard your children from the dangerous world of recreational drugs and Nottinghamshire Police have told parents which words could be vital clues their child is in trouble.
A child messaging ‘420’ could be discussing marijuana, while ‘crow’ is also known online as slang for cannabis.
While on the face of it, ‘molly’ might sound like a friend from school, the police force warn that children could be using it to secretly refer to Class A drug Ecstasy or MDMA.
Common after-effects of these mind-altering substances could include feeling ‘wavey’, which means drunk or high, or they might also mention feeling ‘wired’ which could secretly mean succumbing to a drug-induced paranoia.
And if your teen is talking about ‘pre-ing’ they might have big plans to pre-drink before a social event.
Sex
If you notice a message on your child’s phone which reads ‘CU46’ be aware that this usually stands for ‘see you for sex’.
While ‘FWB’ means ‘friends with benefits‘ – a ‘no strings attached’ sexual relationship with a friend.
And if you’re concerned about your teen experimenting in the world of online sex, keep an eye peeled for any messages reading ‘FYEO’ which means ‘for your eyes only’ and could be in relation to an intimate picture.
‘GNOC’ stands for ‘get naked on camera’ while ‘NIFOC’ means ‘naked in front of camera’ and ‘IWSN’ means ‘I want sex now’ – someone who is desperate for sex might be referred to as ‘thirsty’.
Plans for sex in the future, arranged via social media or texting are sometimes referred to as ‘down in the DM’, while more commonly known terms ‘hooking up’ and ‘smash’ both refer to sex.
Mental health
It can be difficult to get your child to open up about the state of their mental health, which can be negatively impacted by the emotional roller coaster of puberty.
And while experts have previously issued five warning signs for parents to look out for, there are even more clues that could indicate a child is silently in need of help.
A child discussing the eating disorder anorexia might refer to it as #ana, or be trawling online sites for #thinspo, which stands for thinspiration and relates to harmful online content to ‘motivate’ them.
While #deb and #sue might sound like parents of friends, they actually stand for depression and suicide.
And a teenager discussing self-harming behaviour online might disguise their messages by using the hashtag, #svv.
Steps to Keep Your Child Safe From Grooming
By Emma Kenny, true crime psychologist and parenting expert
- Encourage your child to share their day-to-day experiences. Ask who they talked to on the way home, what happened at the bus stop, and if anything made them feel uncomfortable. The more openly you talk, the more confident they’ll be to speak up if something feels off.
- If possible, arrange for your child to walk or travel with friends. Identify safe spaces along the route, trusted neighbours or shops where they can go if they feel threatened.
- Groomers often switch to online contact once they’ve made initial in-person connections. Monitor your child’s digital devices in a respectful but proactive way. Agree on ground rules for social media use, and encourage them to show you anything that makes them feel uneasy.
- If your parental alarm bells are going off, do not dismiss those feelings. Challenge unusual behaviour or new relationships gently but firmly. Seek professional advice if you suspect your child is at risk.
- If you have any evidence or strong suspicions that someone is grooming your child, contact the police immediately. Support and guidance from organisations like the NSPCC or Barnardo’s can also be invaluable in helping you navigate this distressing situation.
