Blaming absent dads for the crisis of masculinity is too simplistic – many men want to be more involved
Fatherlessness and a lack of male role models are often cited as causes of an apparent crisis of masculinity among boys. This is not new. These arguments have been made for nearly half a century, both in the UK and the US, as the root of a multitude of social issues.
These are key ideas in the Lost Boys report from thinktank the Centre for Social Justice, cited recently by Gareth Southgate in his Richard Dimbleby lecture on the issues facing boys. In this report, concerns about fatherlessness and a lack of male role models for boys in their homes and schools loom large as part of an explanation about why boys today are “lost” and struggling.
I am a researcher who works with boys and fathers, especially with those in low-income communities. I have long feared that these explanations fall short. In the report, boys are presented as passive victims of inequalities. Men, as fathers and educators, are considered to be to blame when they are deemed absent, or seen as a way to solve the societal ills that influence and shape the nation’s boys.
But simply asking fathers to step up and do better isn’t enough. In my research with men as caregivers, including young fathers aged 25 and under, I’ve found they want to be involved in their children’s lives but face numerous challenges that can make this more difficult.
Whether struggling to secure qualifications and find employment or family-suitable housing that is near to or safe for their children, they come up against serious barriers to support with their parenting.
The UK remains woefully ill-equipped to support fathers to be involved and present in the lives of their children. Not only do we have among the worst parental leave offers in Europe, but family and public health services do not routinely engage with fathers as effectively as they should.
Diverse family life
Lost Boys also presents a bleak picture of family life in Britain. It highlights what is referred to, rather sensationally, as an epidemic of family breakdown.
The report notes there are “just shy of half of young Britons growing up with only one biological parent … with close to nine out of ten of these being single mothers”. If absent fathers are the problem, then this concern over fatherlessness also presents single mothers bringing up boys as lacking.
Further, in the emphasis on the absence of biological fathers from households, it is assumed that the diverse ways we now live family life are also a problem. This obscures the very meaningful family connections that are forged through co-habiting, step-parenting, single-sex parenting and other forms of care – which men also engage in.
Including fathers
Working-class communities often bear the brunt of concerns about a gender crisis. Men in these communities, through labels like feckless and absent dads, are portrayed as failing fathers. This often happens despite limited engagement with them to understand their experiences.
My research with boys and fathers over the last decade has shown there are greater benefits when fathers are directly involved in addressing the systemic challenges shaping their parenting experiences. We have therefore involved fathers in creating dads’ groups and online parenting support, where they challenge negative views and advocate for progressive societal support for boys and men.
Shifting away from the concept of “fatherless families”, this work promotes the idea of creating societies that are father-inclusive and better at supporting men as fathers. This might be by advocating for increased time to bond with their children through well-funded and affordable parental leave, or through more effective public health and community-based support for fathers through pregnancy and parenthood.
Focusing on including fathers means we can explore ways that societies can better support men to be involved in caregiving – and role modelling.
To do this requires collective and collaborative efforts. Building partnerships and fostering dialogues across diverse sectors including education, health, social services, local government and charities – as well as with parents and communities – we are better able to respond to the complexities of the issues boys and men navigate. My work demonstrates the value of developing systemic solutions that are rooted in lived experience and professional insight.
The issues boys and men navigate are diverse, messy and reflective of the complex machinery of our social world. They’re linked to socioeconomic inequalities, geography and social history.
Meaningfully addressing the problems boys and young men encounter that play out in our homes, schools and online means broadening the scope of change beyond individuals and families. It means creating the social conditions for happier, healthier journeys into and through adulthood and fatherhood.
Anna Tarrant receives funding from UK Research & Innovation.