'She's Not Naughty, She's Autistic': Every Parent Should Watch This Dad's Open Letter To His Kid
A video charting a dad’s journey parenting his autistic daughter, after growing up neurodivergent himself, has struck a chord with parents on social media.
To mark World Autism Day, the National Autistic Society released the tear-jerking clip in which a father, Chris, narrates an open letter to his daughter Penny about how the world has changed since he grew up, when people didn’t really know what autism was.
The clip shows a real day-in-the-life of the father-daughter duo, revealing some of the challenges they both face, which includes Chris saying to someone on the phone: “No, she’s not naughty. She’s autistic.”
We see Chris looking stressed in front of a computer screen, being told to take a break.
But there are also those softer, more tender moments between them, like when Penny whispers: “I like being like you.”
“You’re growing up in a world that’s starting to understand,” says Chris, in a voiceover for the video. “Where, when we’re feeling overwhelmed, people step up. Where, when we need more time, people make space.
“The world didn’t know how to show up for me... The world’s changing,” he adds, his voice breaking, “and for you, I hope it will.”
More needs to be done to help autistic people
While change is clearly happening – and more people know about autism now, with an estimated 700,000 people diagnosed in the UK – the charity urged there is much more to be done.
Writing in the caption for the video, released as part of a new It’s How You Show Up campaign, the charity said: “Our surveys show there is a significant gap in understanding of autism and the ways in which non-autistic people can support autistic people and their families.”
More than half (55%) of autistic people avoid going out because they’re worried how people will treat them, according to the survey, and a quarter (25%) usually get a negative reaction when they say they are autistic.
“Showing up for the autistic people in your life can be easier than you might think,” added the charity. “There are so many simple, everyday ways you can make a huge difference to help build a kinder, more supportive world for everyone.”
Parents of neurodivergent children – and those who are also autistic themselves – flooded to the comments to share how the advert resonated with them, and there was a very common emotional reaction.
One said: “That made me cry. I’ve got two children out of school and completely unable to cope. Maybe the world is beginning to understand but not there yet, no where near.”
“This made me cry,” another parent added. “Just got diagnosed three weeks ago and hoping to get my daughter diagnosed soon too.”
One mum commented that she wished she had known her son was autistic when he was growing up. “We could have had this sort of support in place, which would have made it easier for him transitioning into adulthood,” she said.
“Thank God he is doing ok now at 32, but it has been such a struggle for him and also exhausting and challenging for me supporting him through his journey.”
How to show up for autistic people
The charity said the top three changes autistic people wish the public would make to better support them are:
- Make small changes in environments, such as work and public spaces (78%)
- Educate themselves about autism (69%)
- Become more open-minded in the way they think people should behave (68%).
Chris, who featured in the campaign film, added: “Autism doesn’t always look how you may think it looks. Autistic people are capable, intelligent, sensitive and able – don’t judge us.
“People have shown up for me at work by having a better understanding of me and how to be empathetic. We wanted to be a part of this campaign because, as a late-diagnosed autistic man, it is important for us to help identify and show that it has been really difficult just to get to this point.
“We are all committed to raising the profile of autism, particularly in girls, and how to identify it and deal with it empathetically without setting people apart.”