PATRICIA HEATON: I’m a mom on screen and off. Building a family is a journey of love and commitment

Some know me as Debra Barone, others as Frankie Heck. To my four boys, I am simply "Mom" — the name I cherish most. Though they are now grown, I will never forget the first time Sam, John, Joe and Dan first said it. That single word, a milestone, formed a bond only a parent and child can understand. Yet, for many women facing infertility, that same word carries a pain only they can truly know. 

There has been much discussion lately about the importance of having children. But if the conversation stops there, we miss the bigger picture. It is not just about having kids — it is about having a sense of family. If we overlook that truth, we risk turning a deeply personal experience into a divisive debate. 

Family has always been at the heart of my life and career. Portraying mothers on screen and raising four sons with my husband, David Hunt, has given me profound insights into the joys and challenges of parenthood. Playing characters like Debra Barone in "Everybody Loves Raymond" and Frankie Heck in "The Middle" allowed me to explore the complexities of motherhood and family — its humor, chaos, and love — reflecting the diverse experiences that so many women navigate daily. 

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Off-screen, my greatest role has been being "Mom." My life is permanently enriched by my sons — through the endless soccer games, band practices, school dances, Thanksgivings with kids running wild, summer vacations, bedtime stories, road trips, science fairs, driving lessons, pillow and blanket forts, college applications, playing catch in the back yard, school plays and so much more. But I know this journey to parenthood is not the same for everyone. 

April marks National Infertility Awareness Month. Here in the United States, approximately 12% of women aged 15 to 49 — more than 10 million — struggle to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term. The weight of infertility can feel overwhelming, made heavier by the assumption that becoming a parent is something that simply happens.  

The heartbreak of infertility is often lived in silence, which is why my husband, David, and I produced the feature adult comedy "Unexpected," a film about a couple navigating infertility and finding their unique path to family. 

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Infertility is more than a medical condition. It is an emotional journey that tests identity, relationships, and faith. The societal expectation that parenthood is a given can make this journey even more isolating. But families are not defined solely by biology. Adoption, for instance, brings approximately 135,000 children into new loving homes each year.  

Yet, when discussing children in our culture, we rarely discuss what it means to build a family. The conversation often focuses on birth rates, fertility rates and the economic impact. But these numbers miss the real human experience. Every child deserves a loving home, and every hopeful parent deserves to know that there are many paths to creating a family — paths that deserve just as much recognition and support as traditional childbirth. 

My family, friends and audience members who have seen "Unexpected" and experienced infertility firsthand have shared how lonely it can be. For too long, they have felt overlooked in conversations about parenthood, as if their journey matters less. But it does matter. David and I hope "Unexpected" offers hope, reminding viewers that while the road to parenthood may be uncertain, the destination — a loving family — is possible in many ways. 

If we truly value family, we should recognize that building one is not a one-size-fits-all journey. A family's strength is not measured by how it is formed but by the love, commitment and faith that hold it together. 

From Debra Barone to Frankie Heck to Patricia Heaton, the throughline of my life has always been family. To those experiencing the uphill battle of building a family, I hope you find support to walk this path with others and faith to believe that your dreams of family — however they unfold — are possible.