If Your Daughter Is Called A 'Bop' At School, It's Not What You Think It Means
“I got called a ‘bop’ today,” reads a student’s post on Reddit. “I know I’m probably just being dramatic about this, but I can’t help but feel very upset.”
The term bop is being bandied around both online and IRL, and if your child is being called it by their peers, whether in person or via social media, it’s time to talk to them about it.
For those scratching their heads as to what it could possibly even mean, the term “bop” isn’t a reference to a catchy song (which is what millennials and Gen X-ers might think when they hear it).
Rather, bop is being used as an offensive term to call someone else, usually girls or women, promiscuous or a sl*t.
Given the noticeable rise in classroom misogyny which teachers recently reported, it’s perhaps no surprise that such terms are also gaining traction.
Where did the term even come from?
According to dictionary site Merriam-Webster, it’s thought to have originated from a rap song called Lala Bop.
“In 2023 a trend spread on TikTok and other social media platforms, in which people would tag users, generally young women, with lala bop, in an implication that the person was sexually promiscuous, or overly immodest in the way that they presented themselves online,” the site explained.
“Following the introduction of lala bop the word began to be used as simply bop, or as school bop (implying that the person had many sexual partners at a particular school).”
The site added that the word is “considered harmful” and is typically an example of “cyberbullying”.
In a video shared on TikTok, Titania Jordan, the author of Parental Control, said the rap song has been used in “call out videos that shame people for allegedly dating around or being promiscuous”.
She added: “Unfortunately, lala bops are most commonly directed at females as it implies that they have a ‘high body count’ which is slang for how many people someone has hooked up with.
“Lala bops might not even be true and could just be vicious rumours circulating.”
What to do if your child is called a ‘bop’ or ‘lala bop’
First of all, if you notice your child is the target of bullying on social media, you should report the content to the platform where it’s been posted.
Jordan said: “Make sure your child knows how to do this as it can be very empowering.
“Let them know you love them unconditionally, this storm will pass, and talk through the other options you have available to you, including anonymously reporting the behaviour to school authorities.”
Your child might not consider being called a “bop” as bullying, in which case this advice from Family Lives might be helpful: “If it is a one off incident then it may be that it is banter. However, if the name calling becomes persistent and regular, then this is bullying.
“It is equally about how you feel too, if it makes you uncomfortable and you have told them to stop but they are still name calling, then this is what we call verbal bullying.”
If the bullying involves someone your child knows from school, you should speak to your child’s teacher (or form tutor) about this.
Arrange a meeting to discuss the bullying – there are some helpful pointers here on what to speak about and the evidence you might want to take.
The NSPCC also advises to ask for a copy of the school’s anti-bullying policy, behaviour policy and complaints procedure, and to make it clear you expect a response to help resolve the issue.