The World's A Scary Place For Girls Right Now – Men Need To Be Part Of The Change
There’s a metaphorical rumble of unrest in the air.
In the UK we have certain freedoms that other countries are fighting for. We are ‘safe’, relatively speaking, from threats that are so terrifying to our day-to-day lives.
However, just because women in the UK are not directly reaping the repercussions of some of the worst of all misogyny that is happening across the globe, it doesn’t mean they aren’t fearful of what this could mean.
Nor does it mean they aren’t already impacted on UK soil.
Recently, the Netflix drama Adolescence shone a spotlight on the violence of men against women or, more accurately, boys against girls – seeking to offer an understanding as to the impact of outside influences on misogyny.
The TV show reflects wider societal issues. A survey by Unison and UK Feminista found there’s been a rise in sexist behaviour and language, and sexual harassment, in schools. Teachers are witnessing misogyny in boys as young as 11.
We also know violence against women and girls is increasing, with crimes rising by 37% between 2018 and 2023. Police data found over one million crimes related to violence against women and girls were recorded in 2022-23 – that’s about 3,000 offences every single day.
Whilst I’m not a fan of the term ‘toxic masculinity’, we are seeing many instances in the media where masculine traits are being overextended to the point that they become detrimental to men and those around them.
Whether this plays out as violence to others or to self, suppressing emotions and not seeking support, always having to win, to achieve or to be right, or loneliness and isolation – this damaging state is a societal issue.
With political figures pushing boundaries, technology driving division and the media promoting awareness, it does feel like the unhealthier expressions of masculinity are on the rise.
From my perspective, this has been brewing for years, and now certain voices are becoming more emboldened. With so much instability, those voices are louder and more alluring than ever, and this is problematic for all of us.
To fight the tide, and for real change, it’s time for men to become allies – women and girls everywhere deserve our unashamedly loud support.
How to spearhead change
For parents, today’s world is very different from the one we grew up in. Being curious and listening to children about their lives, without preaching and judging, is important in beginning to understand how to guide them.
You don’t need to be perfect. Try to build trust so your children will feel comfortable coming to you if they need to talk.
At home, disrupt gender stereotypes by encouraging your children to explore interests that sit outside of the traditional expectations. Role model partnership at home, whether that’s in caring, decision-making or household duties.
Listen to your children about their view of the world – not only can this help make us a more effective ally, but we role model the value of listening, too.
Advocate at work for family-focused and flexible policies – as a parent these benefit everyone, especially when men step in and champion them.
Engage other men in these conversations. Explore how all men have a role to play and benefit from engaging in allyship, and how they can be a part of shaping workplaces where both their sons and daughters can thrive.
Take the time to speak and listen to women about their experiences, and don’t assume you know what they need. Doing this widens your perspective and gives you a chance to see where you can make a difference – as well as the skills you can build in the process.
Role model allyship for your children: whether it’s having curious conversations, exploring inclusion and fairness as a family, or looking at fairness and people’s rights – when fathers are part of these conversations, children see that fairness and equality are important.
It’s not enough to listen to other voices, we all need to be part of the change.
Lee Chambers is the founder of Male Allies UK.
