‘I can’t completely shut the door on my friends’: Pregnant woman refuses to have fiance’s friends over while pregnant. Is she wrong for that?
A woman sparked a heated debate online after asking if she was “overreacting” for not wanting visitors in her home while pregnant.
In a post shared to Reddit’s r/AmIOverreacting sub, user u/One_Personality_4990 explained that she’s currently 27 weeks along and finding herself less tolerant of her fiancé’s social life.
“This might sound crazy,” she wrote, “but they were over last night and they definitely aren’t the quietest … I woke up and I could literally smell them!”
The 19-year-old says she used to be fine with the noise and company, but things changed as her pregnancy progressed. “Not having that hom[e]ly smell and it being taken over by a man smell really irritates me,” she added. “I want my house to just be me and him.”
In the post, the woman attached two screenshots of a text message conversation of her bringing up the issue with her fiancé.
“Babe I seriously can’t keep doing this,” her message read. “I want our house somewhat calm and clean with no visitors.”
But her fiancé, 21, didn’t seem entirely on board.
“I can’t completely shut the door on my friends,” he replied, explaining that hosting them helps him decompress—and that their home is typically “the party house.”
“I get that,” she responded, “but I need you to try and see this from my side right now. This isn’t a forever thing … but please can you do this for me?”
To his credit, the fiancé did offer a compromise: “I think we should find some middle ground like specific times and so on. We can speak about it when I get home.”
Why nesting matters
According to experts, the need for peace and control in one’s environment is common during pregnancy—especially as the due date gets closer.
It’s often referred to as “nesting,” and experts say it’s not just about cleaning or prepping; it’s about feeling safe and supported.
That’s why even something small, like who’s in the house or what it smells like, can start to feel like a big deal.
Commenters share their thoughts
In the comments, many users sided with the original poster, saying her request wasn’t unreasonable at all.
“You are underreacting,” one person wrote. “You are pregnant. You are about to have an infant. Your place... can no longer be the ‘party place’ a ‘crash pad’ or anything else.”
Another user added, “NOR (not overreacting)—your fiancé needs to grow up. Does he think he’ll be able to keep bringing those friends over to hang out as much as he does now when the baby is born?”
Even those who saw both sides of the situation said they could understand where the woman was coming from.
“I don’t think you’re overreacting,” one person shared. “But I do see from his POV that it’s his house too and he wants his friends there... but I completely get you not wanting them there if you can LITERALLY SMELL THEM OML.”
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