3 Scary Movies That Show What It’s Like To Date A Narcissist
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) means that a person is selfish to such an extreme it is considered pathological (caused by a mental illness). Colloquially, many people are called narcissists for a less severe degree of selfishness due to hyperbole. Dating a narcissist can be traumatizing, especially since one hallmark is gaslighting, which renders the victim unable to differentiate between what is normal and what crosses the line into abuse.
While these films are extreme portrayals of narcissists (because the vast majority of narcissists aren’t murderers), they will be familiar (and hopefully provide catharsis) for people who have dated one in real life.
Badlands (1973)
Who is the narcissist? Kit Carruthers (Martin Sheen), a 25-year-old Korean War vet who prays on a meek underage girl who is already susceptible to manipulation because of her strict father.
Kit seduces a 15-year-old high school student (Sissy Spacek) and murders her father when he steps in to stop the relationship. While incredibly charming when he wants to be, privately Kit is anti-social, almost as if he is two different people. His wants and needs are the final word in what the couple will do, he does not consider the needs of his girlfriend at all. Throughout the film he murders ruthlessly and recklessly while going on monologues about the way he sees things.
The Shining (1980)
Who is the narcissist? Torrance family patriarch Jack (Jack Nicholson) has a history of abuse that is hinted at even before he gets to the evil Overlook hotel. He dislocated his son’s arm when he came home drunk and angry and gaslit his family about the injury, calling it “a momentary loss of muscular coordination.”
The Torrance family signs up to spend the winter in isolation as caretakers for a remote mountain hotel that is closed for the season. While Jack is the hired hand who actually gets a paycheck, his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) is the only one shown cooking, cleaning, and keeping the boiler functioning. The hotel’s evil supernatural presence preys on Jack’s existing narcissism and intensifies his abusive nature. The “bat scene” in particular is an incredibly frightening portrayal of an abuser. Jack becomes increasingly volatile, which culminates in him chasing his family around the hotel with an axe.
The Invisible Man (2020)
Who is the narcissist? Wealthy tech CEO Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), who is so abusive his partner Cecelia (Elisabeth Moss) must slip him Valium in order to escape in the dead of night. Adrian’s ego can’t handle the breakup and he goes to the extreme of faking his own death and using his invisibility tech to gaslight and endanger his ex.
After Cecelia escapes, she quietly relocates to the home of her childhood friend, a police detective. Weeks later, with Adrian supposedly dead, she becomes convinced that he is somehow alive and terrorizing her. Cecelia discovers she has been drugged with her own Valium, is framed for hitting the detective’s daughter, is attacked by an invisible force and later framed for murder. She even discovers that her ex tampered with her contraceptives in order to get her pregnant in an effort to trap her in his control. Of course, no one believes her and she looks crazy, which is the icing on the cake for her narcissist ex.
More great media about narcissistic partners:
- Cape Fear (1991) the abusive and narcissistic character Max Cady was so scary that actor Robert De Niro would frighten director Martin Scorsese by leaving him voicemails in character.
- Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) Sara (Julia Roberts) is the stay-at-home wife of a wealthy investment counselor, Martin (Patrick Bergin), who routinely berates and beats Sara over small infractions before continuing the cycle of narcissistic abuse by love-bombing her with apologies and affection.
- Fear (1996) a psychological thriller that stars Mark Wahlberg as narcissist David McCall who seduces 16-year-old Nicole Walker (Reese Witherspoon) only to terrorize her and her family.
- No One Would Tell (1996) teen star Fred Savage played against type as an abusive narcissistic boyfriend to high school student Stacy (Candace Cameron Bure).
- The Undoing (2020) a murder mystery miniseries about a covert narcissist.
- Alice, Darling (2022) Anna Kendrick stars as a woman trying to break free from her narcissistic boyfriend.
- Resurrection (2022) a narcissistic abuser (Tim Roth) shows up to torment the woman who escaped him (Rebecca Hall).