A manager’s guide to helping grieving employees

In the UK, it is currently Dying Matters Awareness Week. Grief—and the impact of death and loss—is something that nearly all of us will experience at some point in our working lives. Despite this, many workplaces are not equipped to have these tricky conversations and are unsure how to best support their staff with their mental well-being while grieving. At This Can Happen, we conducted an in-depth, two-stage research project into how workplaces are supporting employees with grief—the Grief In The Workplace Report—and the findings are eye-opening. 

We found that 87% of respondents with lived experience felt grief had impacted their mental well-being, yet 46% felt that they did not have enough time to grieve and 51% did not feel supported by their organization. This is a critical issue for managers and leaders in the workplace that is impacting not only employee mental well-being, but also the ability for staff to perform at work. In fact, 76% said since returning to work they had not received any communications from managers or leadership in relation to their grief, and 76% also said they felt their loss had affected their performance in their immediate return to work.

So, how can employers help? Here are five ways.

1. Break the taboo in speaking about grief and bereavement

These conversations should be led from the top-down to tackle stigma and build psychological safety in the workplace. This is the responsibility of both leadership and line managers. For example, if members of leadership have lived experience of grief and loss, consider how personal storytelling from these individuals could have a transformative impact on staff likelihood to share their own challenges. This could take the form of an internal blog, a panel discussion, or even an update in a company meeting. Line managers can then pick up on this note and continue these conversations in catch-ups with line reports, encouraging open and honest conversation about mental well-being to build trust, so that employees know that they can immediately go to their manager when they need support.

2. Put the right support in place

Providing the right resources—and ensuring that staff know where to find them—is crucial. Our research shows that this is currently an area in which businesses are struggling, with 37% of respondents unsure about what resources were currently available to support them with grief. Make sure that you have a comprehensive Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) in place, which is a confidential service that supports staff—and sometimes their family members—with their health, including counseling, referrals, and expert advice. Consider creating worksheets with tips and advice about living through bereavement, along with helpful links that employees might want to explore for further reading or conversations. Finally, ensure that line managers are fully trained in having these conversations in the workplace, and understanding what resources your organization has in place, so that they can signpost staff correctly and efficiently.

3. Be open, empathetic, and human in your approach

This might sound like an obvious one, but it’s not; so many leaders and managers approach grief and bereavement from a policy-led perspective, or avoid the conversation altogether because they are afraid of saying what could be perceived as the “wrong thing.” Some 64% of respondents in our research had not heard their managers talking openly about bereavement. Take the time to understand what employees are thinking and feeling in terms of their grief, and what they need right now—keeping in mind that grief is not one linear path forward, but rather a journey that’s filled with peaks and troughs over time. This can be heightened around key moments such as anniversaries and birthdays. Keep the lines of communication open to understand what employees need at any given moment, and how you as an employer can really make a tangible impact in the support you offer.

4. Give employees experiencing grief both space and flexibility at work

Make sure employees who have uttered a loss know that you as an employer or line manager are there for them to speak to if they need it, but also give them the time and space to process their grief as needed. As much as you can within your workplace and industry, offer flexible working arrangements to bereaved staff. The thought of going into the office following a bereavement can sometimes be an overwhelming prospect; try to understand the impacts of grief in the short-, medium- and long-term, and understand where staff might benefit from flexible working arrangements.

5. Consider how you can provide ongoing support

For example, if resources allow, consider meeting with a psychologist to explain how to set up bereavement support, and ensure that this is baked into the heart of an organization, rather than sitting solely in a policy. From here, speak to staff and understand if there’s anything further that they would like to set up from a grassroots perspective. A lot of powerful work that we have seen in this space has been created and run organically by employees—lunch-and-learn sessions on lived experience with grief or quarterly drop-in “grief cafés,” for instance. 

These are all thought-starters on how best to support employees experiencing grief. The most important thing that you can do as a leader or manager is to be kind, empathetic and understanding to the challenges that these team members are facing, and listen with an open ear around how best to support them. You’ll soon see the benefits of this, not just on employee mental well-being, but in terms of presenteeism and productivity as well.