You Need To Talk To Your Autistic Child About Periods – But When?

Coping with periods isn’t easy for adults, let alone kids.

Yet for those with autism; menstruation and the shift in routine it brings (not to mention the sensory challenges), can be tough to navigate. 

It’s thought around 700,000 people in the UK are autistic, however research suggests the true figure could be twice as high.

The average age girls start their period is 12, however some can start as early as eight or nine years old (and there’s some evidence to suggest autistic girls get theirs earlier than neurotypical girls), so it’s crucial parents have open and honest conversations with their kids about their ever-changing bodies.

Here, Dr Selina Warlow, a clinical psychologist and owner of The Nook Neurodevelopmental Clinic, shares her advice surrounding how parents can speak to their children about their impending periods – and make the start of this huge change as comfortable as possible.

1. Kick off conversations early with simple, clear language

Using straightforward and positive language, visuals or social stories to introduce what menstruation is and what to expect is a “great starting point” to normalise the conversation around periods, said Dr Warlow. 

She recommends introducing the topic early, rather than waiting until a child’s period begins. 

While there’s no official guidance on when to have the period chat, The University of Edinburgh recommends kickstarting these chats at eight years old, as “some neurodivergent children need a little extra time to process information or time to get used to the idea of something new”.

Dr Warlow urges parents to discuss the physiology of the body reminding their child that periods are a natural, healthy function. The NHS has some helpful guidance on this.

Keep the conversation open and relaxed, letting your child know they can come to you whenever they have any questions. Dr Warlow recommends The Autism Friendly Guide to Periods and Period Power to support these conversations.

2. Use visuals and touch to show how different products work

Ahead of their period, it can be helpful to spend some time researching different period products together online to show what they look like and how they are used.

Look at all of the options available and then go together to purchase the ones they are most interested in, Dr Warlow suggested, “as touch and sensory experiences can help build familiarity and reduce anxiety”.

“Be open and honest about the pros and cons of each and let them make the decision about which product is most comfortable for them,” she added.

3. Look for period products with sensory innovations

The psychologist noted that unexpected textures and noisy, crinkly packaging can be overwhelming for autistic people, however there are products designed with innovations that can help. She offered the example of FLUUS, a flushable period pad which is ‘whisper silent’ to unwrap.

A survey of autistic young people aged 10 to 17 years old found period underwear (or period pants) was the preferred period product, followed by disposable pads and reusable pads.

If you’re interested in period pants, it’s worth checking for ones that don’t contain silver, like Wuka, according to a study by Which?. 

4. Establish routines and prepare for scenarios

“If possible, create an easy routine around period hygiene that is consistent and easy to remember,” advised Dr Warlow.

Having clear steps can help autistic adolescents feel more in control and prepared, she said, so consider mapping out a schedule for how often they should change their pants, pad, tampon or cup when on their period, or setting reminders on their phone.

“It can be helpful to talk through different scenarios, for example, what would you do if you got your period at school? Or what would you do if you had a leak?” she added.

“Planning ahead for unexpected situations is helpful for young autistic adults who often thrive on routine and predictability.” 

5. Don’t forget to talk about mood changes

As well as talking about the physical changes that occur during menstruation, it’s also important to discuss the mood changes.

“Your child might feel more irritable, sensitive, anxious or sad. Small things can feel overwhelming for autistic people during certain times of the month depending on their cycle, whereas other times [they] may feel more energised and happy,” said the psychologist.

It might be helpful to track their mood changes against period dates so they can begin to understand patterns. There are a few apps that can do this, including Luna.

“By noting different emotions an individual is feeling alongside dates, you can identify trends in behaviour,” she said. “Over time, this can help you manage symptoms, plan self-care and feel more in control throughout your cycle.” 

Ultimately, all of Dr Warlow’s tips are about trying to create a calm and supportive environment, so autistic teens feel in control during that time of the month.

As she puts it: “It’s about education, empathy, and meeting their needs in a way that works for them.”