It sure does suck to be JD Vance right now—even more than usual
It is never a good time to be JD Vance.
But now it is an especially bad time to be him.
Because Daddy Trump and Daddy Musk are fighting, and he’s going to have to pick a side, and there are no good options—which perhaps is why the extremely online veep has gone very, very, very quiet.
Vance isn’t just the vice president, after all. He’s the vice president to a crazy, unhinged, vengeful sum’bitch who sent a murderous mob after his first vice president and relished their bloodlust.
Surely, at some point in Vance’s decision-making about whether to tether himself to Trump’s fortunes, he must have imagined, for at least half a second—even if he didn’t want to admit it—that perhaps one day an angry crowd could find its way to chanting “Hang JD!” just as easily as it once chanted “Hang Mike Pence!”
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So, certainly it is best to side with Daddy Trump.
But on the other hand, Trump won’t be around forever. No matter how much he threatens it. And if Vance still dreams of calling himself president one day, he’s going to need some financial assistance. Perhaps the kind of tech bro billionaire money he’s been so actively courting all these years. And who has more of that money than Elon Musk?
Literally no one.
Meanwhile, Musk has made it perfectly clear in his too-online way what he thinks should happen.
No, the Republican-controlled House isn’t about to impeach Trump, and definitely no, the Republican-controlled Senate isn’t about to convict Trump, and absolutely no, Vance is not going to be replacing Trump now.
If Vance picks the right side now, maybe one day he’ll get his chance, with Musk’s katrillions of dollars helping him to get there. But which side is the right side?
If he wraps himself around Daddy Musk and incurs the wrath of Daddy Trump, will he get the chance to cash in three years from now?
Pity poor Vance, the guy who used to think Trump was Hitler until Trump offered him the super sweet job of being Pence’s replacement.
As the ugliest of ugly divorces rages on between his two masters, no wonder he’s keeping his mouth shut.
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