Billy Joel opens up about affair that led to two suicide attempts
This story discusses suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Billy Joel is sharing the most haunting chapter of his life — a chapter that nearly silenced his music forever.
The "Piano Man" singer-songwriter, who is currently battling a brain disorder, revealed in the first part of his documentary, "Billy Joel: And So It Goes," what led him to attempt suicide twice and fall into a coma.
When the musician was in his early 20s, Joel was part of a band called Attila with his best friend Jon Small. At the time, he moved in with Small, his wife, Elizabeth Weber, and their son, according to People.
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"Bill and I spent a lot of time together," Weber confessed in the documentary, according to People. She added that their friendship was gradual and a "slow build." Joel eventually told his best friend, "I'm in love with your wife."
"I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker," Joel admitted in the documentary, which premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival on Wednesday. "I was just in love with a woman, and I got punched in the nose, which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset."
The betrayal not only ended Joel and Small's friendship at the time but also dissolved their band, Attila. Consumed by guilt and depression, Joel's personal and professional life unraveled, as he began to spiral.
"I had no place to live. I was sleeping in laundromats, and I was depressed, I think to the point of almost being psychotic," Joel said in the documentary. So, I figured, 'That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.' I was just in a lot of pain and it was sort of like why hang out? Tomorrow is going to be just like today is, and today sucks. So, I just thought I’d end it all."
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Joel's sister shared in the film that she was working as a medical assistant and gave him sleeping pills to help with the restless nights.
"But Billy decided that he was going to take all of them… he was in a coma for days and days and days," she emotionally said. "I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet. I thought that I’d killed him."
While Joel acknowledged that he had been "very selfish" during the tumultuous time, he recalled his first thought when he woke up from his coma was that he wanted to attempt suicide again.
During Joel's second attempt at suicide, he ingested "lemon Pledge," a furniture polish. Miraculously, he survived both attempts, after his friend Small rushed him to the hospital.
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"Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life," Joel explained in the documentary.
His friend Small added, "He never really said anything to me. The only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much. Eventually, I forgave him."
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Following the second suicide attempt, Joel shared that he had felt like a "lost soul" and admitted himself to an "observation ward." There, he confronted his inner demons and began the long road to recovery. The singer-songwriter called the experience life-changing and was released several weeks later.
"I got out of the observation ward, and I thought to myself, ‘You can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music,’" Joel said.
Joel and Weber reconnected and eventually tied the knot years after the affair. The couple were together from 1973 until 1982.