Is being single a luxury now? Viral dating theory says yes: “My avoidant attachment took this as a direct threat”
A TikToker has shared her controversial theory on why being single is a luxury.
In a now-viral video posted to the platform on March 3rd, user @onlinekeeks divided viewers with her positive opinion of singlehood. Her theory is being picked apart in follow-up videos on TikTok, and of course, there's discourse happening all over the internet about it.
Some commenters are feeling a sense of solidarity, and others are accusing her of misunderstanding the realities of being single.
What is the theory?
The original video, which has over 1 million views as of June 3rd, has a caption that says, “enjoy each phase of your life instead of running to the next.” The text on the screen reads, “being single is a luxury.”
“I just wanna remind people that being single is a luxury and you need to start treating it as that,” @onlinekeeks explains. “You literally don’t know when’s the last day you’re gonna be single,” she says, before adding that things could change as quickly as “tonight” or “tomorrow.”
Lastly, she encourages her viewers to enjoy themselves and their own company.
@onlinekeeks enjoy each phase of your life instead of rushing to the next
♬ original sound - keeks
Many single commenters felt seen. “‘You could get into a relationship tonight’ don’t threaten me like that ever again,” commented one user, while another added, “I’m never getting in a relations**t girl.”
Some began referencing toxic or unhappy previous relationships, as well as attachment styles, with @Memphismackenz commenting, “My avoidant attachment took this as a direct threat btw.”
However, not everyone was in agreement. Some commenters found themselves accusing @onlinekeeks, who is not single, of misunderstanding the difficulties of the lifestyle. “Aren’t you in a relationship? Break up if it’s such a luxury,” user @Wilma wrote. “I’m gonna be 25 and still never even held a man’s hand romantically, so, I’m totally over these discussions, especially hearing it from ppl in relationships. ok, be single with me if it’s so great,” someone else said.
Onlinekeeks responds to criticism
The TikToker quickly made a follow-up video to add some nuance to the discussion.
“Yes, I’m fully aware that I’m in a relationship. Do I regret it? No, I love my man,” she says. “I’m 30, so I’m reflecting on my twenties and just thinking about maybe all the things I should’ve appreciated a little bit more.”
Commenters continue to chime in that “it’s not a luxury, it’s miserable,” while others found themselves surprised by @onlinekeeks age. “Girl, I thought you were like 22,” one person admits.
@onlinekeeks Replying to @Samy Guzman ♬ original sound - keeks
A relationship expert weighs in
In the weeks and months since @onlinekeeks went viral, her video has initiated discussion both within TikTok and more broadly. The theory is highlighted in an article for Newsweek by journalist Melissa Fleur Afshar, who spoke to relationship expert Tam Kaur for clarification on the realities of singlehood.
“Being single is not a problem to be fixed,” Kaur told Newsweek. “It is an opportunity to reconnect with yourself on the deepest level.” Kaur also added that negative views of singlehood are endorsed by a society that prioritizes romantic love above all else. In reality, we’re often craving connection with like-minded people, which we can satisfy by joining communities both on and offline.
Afshar provides a little more nuance on the issue, adding that the realities of singledom go beyond mere emotional satisfaction and are woven into the very structure of society.
“From paying full rent alone to navigating social gatherings that prize romantic partnerships, single individuals often face a ‘singles tax,’ both financially and emotionally,” she wrote.
So, when it comes to whether it’s better to be single or coupled up ahead of a summer of love? It’s clear that there isn’t exactly a single answer.
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