JUST HOW BIG A BOMB WAS DONALD TRUMP’S BIRTHDAY MILITARY PARADE?
How big a bomb was Donald Trump’s military parade that celebrated the Army’s 250th anniversary and — coincidental or not — his birthday?
It was so bad even some tanks called in sick.
It was so bad North Korea sent a sympathy card.
It was so bad the bulk of the audience was made up of tumbleweeds.
It was so bad even the Proud Boys said, “Nah, we’ve got brunch.”
it was so empty Trump’s ego finally had room to breathe.
It made the atomic bomb in Hiroshima look like a gentle fireworks show at a retirement home.
How many attended? The White House says 250,000. Other estimates say 75,000. The police suggested it might be closer to 15,000 to 20,000.
Trump had long wanted to have a big parade after seeing one in France. Plus, there have been all those photos and films over the years of ‘strongmen” (i.e. dictators) holding big parades with The Leader beaming, making a speech, and big cheering crowds. So if big crowds attended Trump could have emitted an image of a strong leader in front of big military with cheering throngs.
Alas, it was not to be. Rolling Stone:
On Saturday, President Donald Trump held a hideously expensive military parade in Washington, D.C., on his birthday. Trump and his top officials stood on a stage at the National Mall behind two tanks, before two large digital American flags. Military bands and troops, some on horses, some in vehicles, some in tanks, others in Howitzers, marched in the streets. So did a few robot dogs. An army parachute team jumped down. Helicopters flew over. Drones flew by. There were many, many tanks.
The spectacle was billed as honoring the U.S. Army’s 250th birthday — and planners put in admirable effort to sell this fiction, with processions designed to honor key times in American military history. In reality, the event was just one part of the Trump administration’s vast, billion-dollar government effort to make the leader feel good about himself.
The weekend’s pageantry, which some administration officials referred to as “Donald Trump’s birthday parade” behind closed doors, fulfilled the president’s longtime desire for a grand military parade. Starting at the Pentagon in Virginia, the troops in the parade — who honored the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and the Global War on Terror — had to walk for about two-and-a-half miles.
And:
For an event that shut down much of central Washington D.C., closed key roads, and reportedly cost up to $45 million, the promise of a display of America’s military might — that just coincidentally happened to fall on Trump’s birthday — didn’t exactly draw out legions of his fans. Instead, the crowd of supporters, servicemembers, curious locals, and military-adjacent spectators who braved the oppressive heat and humidity of a post-thunderstorm D.C. managed to just fill out their allotted side of the street over several blocks in front of the White House, with plenty of room to spare.
In front of the central stage, a crowd befitting a midsize concert gathered in view of Jumbotrons. The lawns surrounding the Washington monument — which have hosted countless inaugurations, protests, concerts, and gatherings — were largely unused overflow space.
When the TV broadcast showed the crowd risers along the parade route, they were sparsely filled. The National Park Service issued permits for 250,000 people for the National Mall festival and the military parade. An aerial parade of historic military aircraft flew above the National Mall, traversing a course from the Lincoln Memorial to the Washington Memorial that — despite clear anticipation of crowds by event organizers — was more empty field and food truck line than crowd.
Though rock music blared on TV, the parade itself was eerily quiet. One video posted on X shows tanks squeaking past nearly silent crowds, sounding like a grocery cart in need of grease.
In the weeks leading up to his birthday and the parade, Trump told close associates that protesters were going to try to overshadow the military parade, including in media coverage, in D.C. and elsewhere, and that he was determined not to let that happen, a source with knowledge of the matter and another person briefed on it tell another person briefed on it tell Rolling Stone.
Trump failed in that goal as well. The No King Day protests drew millions. G. Elliot Morris:
The “No Kings Day” nationwide rallies against Donald Trump/for democracy on Saturday turned out millions of people.
That’s per a collective crowdsourcing effort led by Strength In Numbers, and involving many members of the independent data journalism community. We systematized reports from official sources, accounts from the media, and self-reported attendance from thousands of social media posts into a single spreadsheet. (Researchers, please take our data!)
As of midnight on Sunday, June 15, we have data from about 40% of No Kings Day events held yesterday, accounting for over 2.6m attendees. According to our back-of-the-envelope math, that puts total attendance somewhere in the 4-6 million people range. That means roughly 1.2-1.8% of the U.S. population attended a No Kings Day event somewhere in the country yesterday. Organizers say 5m turned out, but don’t release public event-by-event numbers.
I’ve seen happier birthday boys at Chuck E. Cheese when the mouse’s head accidentally fell off. pic.twitter.com/LLKxAdrc8R
— Michael Freeman (@michaelpfreeman) June 15, 2025
Trump looking absolutely inconsolable at his fascist-themed 79th birthday party which no one turned up to other than those who had to because he's their boss. pic.twitter.com/3BqYLrn8f0
— Adam Schwarz (@AdamJSchwarz) June 14, 2025
"As of midnight on Sunday, June 15, we have data from about 40% of No Kings Day events held yesterday, accounting for over 2.6m attendees. According to our back-of-the-envelope math, that puts total attendance somewhere in the 4-6 million people range."https://t.co/XIOGTBdg78
— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) June 15, 2025
Bro ?? pic.twitter.com/4nnUqpjSBx
— Wu Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) June 15, 2025
…and he charged Americans over $45M for it. pic.twitter.com/VBPcRBuUcu
— Devin Duke (@sirDukeDevin) June 15, 2025
The Russians are trolling Trump.
(Captions: "How Trump imagined his parade / What he actually saw") https://t.co/smjZZeE24n
— Julia Ioffe (@juliaioffe) June 15, 2025
BREAKING: New reporting reveals how panicked Donald Trump and his inner circle are that yesterday’s protest against Trump was the largest protest in American history. The dam is breaking. Trump is weaker than ever.
— Democratic Wins Media (@DemocraticWins) June 15, 2025
Never go full Sean Spicer, y’all https://t.co/VqHZeqQzqJ
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) June 15, 2025
I heard someone on Facebook say, "Obama gets bigger crowds when he visits Starbucks." ?
— Alex Cole (@acnewsitics) June 15, 2025
Compare and contrast scenes from yesterday in America.
On the one hand, Trump's low-energy Dear Leader parade (that cost you $45 million).
On the other, millions of people across the country gathering peacefully to say:
Here, we have no kings. pic.twitter.com/T52IW9wvSr
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 15, 2025
I've marched in more military parades than I even care to remember.
Probably watched dozens more as a spectator.
And this is easily the worst and sloppiest marching I've ever witnessed at a formal military parade.
It feels like a big "fuck you" to Trump from the soldiers. pic.twitter.com/TIYlAbghbv
— Christopher David (@Tazerface16) June 15, 2025
#TrumpParade. Straight up. PISSED OFF SOLDIER SABOTAGE WAS IN FULL EFFECT
The soldiers in this parade DELIBERATELY fucked it up or their commanders just did not care about until marching or disciple or appearance to send a message: We hate this duty.
The marching was… https://t.co/qLhQVLXABw
— Malcolm Nance (@MalcolmNance) June 15, 2025
Yes, our troops know how to fucking march.
They CHOSE NOT TO MARCH because THEY DO NOT SUPPORT BEING USED AS PROPS BY WANNABE DICTATOR @realDonaldTrump.
End of story. pic.twitter.com/yU6DtFXW3w
— Andrew—#IAmTheResistance—Wortman (@AmoneyResists) June 15, 2025
Sources say Donald Trump cried from the humiliation he experienced today, keep it up everyone.
— Anonymous (@YourAnonCentral) June 15, 2025
— Alex Cole (@acnewsitics) June 15, 2025
Sources say Donald Trump cried from the humiliation he experienced today, keep it up everyone.
— Anonymous (@YourAnonCentral) June 15, 2025
#TrumpParade pic.twitter.com/NgPcjpW5Zu
— Travis Matthew (@Matthewtravis08) June 15, 2025
Holy shit! This is the No Kings protest in deep red Idaho. ?? pic.twitter.com/YvQM3ARzEw
— Bill Madden (@maddenifico) June 14, 2025
What’s unfortunate for the Army, who today was supposed to celebrate, is that Trump had to make today a partisan event, and steal their thunder to make it about his birthday, so half the country refused to show up. Though in all fairness, his people didn’t show up either.
— John Aravosis ???????? (@aravosis) June 15, 2025
“Jesus Christ is our only king.” — Pope Leo pic.twitter.com/mCgAnY9VyM
— Christopher Hale (@chrisjollyhale) June 14, 2025
Read: https://t.co/s6uH1qY4jN pic.twitter.com/9w11Fe0IZN
— Kaivan Shroff (@KaivanShroff) June 14, 2025
This parade could have been an email
— Anonymous (@YourAnonCentral) June 14, 2025
i'm surprised by how low energy and farcical that whole military parade situation was. I was expecting Moscow 1945 and we got Spirit Halloween instead.
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) June 15, 2025
EPIC response. pic.twitter.com/ovr4O4uYKD
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) June 15, 2025
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