I'm A Parenting Coach – If Kids Are Rude, Try This 2-Word Response
A parenting coach has shared the two-word response parents can use if their kids are being disrespectful – and it’s surprisingly simple.
In a TikTok video, Mike Wallach, who runs Apparently Parenting, said: “Stop letting your kids walk all over you with this one trick.
“It’s super simple – and when done correctly, they rarely push back against it.”
What’s the trick?
The parenting coach and behaviour analyst said if a child is disrespectful or rude towards you, all you need to say in response is: “Try again.”
This can be used in a variety of scenarios, added the parenting coach, such as “when they slam the door, when they yell back ‘no’, when they’re playing too rough, [or] when they snatch a toy out of someone’s hand”.
“They immediately know what needs to be done to change their behaviour,” he explained.
Of course, some younger children might need a bit more direction than simply “try again”. If they say something rude to you, or shout at you, you could respond: “That’s not how we talk to each other. Can you try again?”
If they shout a demand at you, like “I want a snack!” you could respond: “Let’s try that again. How do we ask nicely?”
When kids are rude it might be tempting to raise your voice, but parenting pros suggest remaining calm and speaking in a steady voice, otherwise the situation will likely escalate.
According to My Parenting Solutions, asking for a replay is “so simple and effective”. But if your child is having a tantrum, it’s probably best to wait until they’ve calmed down to encourage them to try again.
The method can work well, because you’re giving children the opportunity to practice acting respectfully.
Any more tips?
Yes! If your child is being angry or rude, or having constant tussles with siblings, ‘special time’ might just help.
Child psychologist Dr Becky Kennedy, founder of Good Inside, described it as the “best bang-for-your-buck” parenting strategy.
Put simply, ‘special time’ is a period of time you carve out in your day where you and your child have one-on-one time together.
“So often, our attention as parents is split between work, siblings, admin, getting everyone fed, and the endless mental to-do list and demands on our time and resources,” Anna Mathur, a psychotherapist and author of The Uncomfortable Truth, told HuffPost UK.
But special time “cuts through that noise”.
It could be five minutes, it could be 15 minutes – but the idea is you get rid of all distractions and just sit and spend time with your kid.
Mathur said it works because “even 10 minutes of dedicated one-on-one time is a statement that tells your child: you matter, you’re seen, I want to be with you” and helps kids “feel emotionally secure, which strengthens their nervous system and improves behaviour”.