Why ordering takeout or calling the dog walker might lead to a happier relationship
By TRACEE M. HERBAUGH
It turns out, love may benefit from a little less labor.
Couples who spend money on time-saving services — like getting takeout, hiring a housecleaner or calling a dog walker — report greater relationship satisfaction, especially during stressful periods, says Ashley Whillans, a behavioral scientist and professor at Harvard Business School.
Whillans studies the “tradeoffs people make between time and money.”
“When you spend money to save time — hiring an accountant, a babysitter, a cleaner — you feel more control over your life,” she said. “That sense of autonomy boosts well-being.”
Not everyone can afford to outsource bigger household chores. But Whillans says even a little bit can help. She advises couples to take a “time audit” — examining how they spend their hours and what small changes could reclaim even a few moments.
“People underestimate how much these choices matter,” she said. “It’s not about luxury — it’s about freeing up time to connect.”
Whillans’ team tracked busy, dual-income couples — partners working full-time who often report feeling time-starved — and found consistent patterns. In one six-week diary study, couples who made “time-saving purchases” on a given day were happier and more satisfied with their relationships.
Use that saved time for connecting
Simply outsourcing chores isn’t a magic fix, however.
“It’s about being intentional with the time you get back — using it to spend quality time together, to reconnect,” Whillans said.
“Think of that half hour not as an opportunity to send more emails, but as a chance to spend time with your partner.”
Targol Hasankhani, a Chicago-based marriage and family therapist, stressed that while outsourcing domestic labor can ease daily stress, it doesn’t replace communication. Juggling careers and kids takes a toll on families, and housework is often freighted with resentments over who is doing it.
“If conflict around chores is rooted in something deeper — like inequity or not feeling heard — hiring a cleaner won’t solve that,” she said.
Couples must dig deeper to address problems with many layers.
“It opens up time and space, but couples still have to know how to show up for each other in that space,” Hasankhani said.
Casey Mulligan Walsh, 71, a former speech pathologist and author in upstate New York, said the best part about hiring a housecleaner once a week was that it freed up time for her and her husband to spend together.
“My favorite day of the week was coming home to a clean house,” she said. “We’d go get coffee together instead of arguing about who should vacuum.”
A Valentine’s Day gift that stuck
Getting started on delegating household tasks isn’t easy for some couples, Whillans said. Besides the cost, “it takes time to find someone and coordinate — but the long-term payoff is real.”
And making such decisions together can deepen trust and a sense of teamwork.
For one Colorado couple, outsourcing started as an act of love.
“When I started dating, my now-husband noticed how hard I was working — at my job, at home and as a single mom,” said Melissa Jones, a 45-year-old teacher in Pueblo.
His Valentine’s Day gift? A deep housecleaning.
“It was truly amazing,” Jones said. “After that, I kept it up on my own for years. When my husband and I moved in together, we decided to continue.”
“We’re able to make memories with each other, our kids and our families instead of spending weekends scrubbing floors,” she said.
Dinnertime can be a stress point
In Miami, Elizabeth Willard, 59, runs The Pickled Beet, a culinary service preparing customized meals.
“Most of the people I cook for are trying to invest in their health but don’t have the time,” she said, noting that families often juggle mixed dietary needs. “Sometimes the husband’s a carnivore and the wife’s vegetarian, one child’s celiac. They’re exhausted trying to make everyone happy.”
Her clients, often families with children and two working parents, are “not fighting over what’s for dinner. It’s one less daily decision.”
Whether ordering a pizza, paying a teenager to mow the lawn, or calling a car service to save 20 minutes, the outcome can be the same: Buying back time can buy peace.