The rules of dating are changing — and quickly

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The business of dating

My wife and I met nearly two decades ago in the same newsroom. We were cub reporters, then friends, and then started dating. Eventually, we got married. Now we have two kids.

I'd say it's a sweet story — and an increasingly antiquated one.

Dating in 2026 looks quite different. Dating apps have gone from taboo to mainstream to played out. Now, a white-collar job apocalypse and a cutthroat AI arms race have people working harder than ever, and that's put dating on the back burner for plenty of folks.

My colleague Henry Chandonnet reports on a new phenomenon taking hold in Silicon Valley. He says tech's dating scene, which was never particularly hot, has frozen over.

Henry spoke with more than two dozen young tech professionals in the Bay Area who described a dating culture shaped by anxiety and exhaustion. There's a large cohort who have sworn off dating entirely, with many "locked in" on building their careers.

It all shows how the rules of romance are changing.

Take LinkedIn. What appears to be a strictly career-focused platform has quietly morphed into a shadow dating app. In the age of remote work, users are sending banal LinkedIn requests under the guise of networking. In reality, they're screening potential love interests.

Meanwhile, traditional dating apps are turning to AI to bring back lapsed users. Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble are pouring millions into generative AI matchmaking tools that promise fewer swipes and deeper connections. A new crop of AI-first dating startups is making the same promise: Let the bots do the work of sifting through people and finding your perfect match. AI wingmen are a thing now.

There's stuff IRL, too. Partiful, the social event invite app, recently launched "Crush," a feature that lets users discreetly signal interest in people they've met at real-world events.

If the crush is mutual, you'll get a notification affirming that the person "has a crush on you too!" Think Tinder without the swiping — dating layered onto genuine social overlap.

We're optimizing everything these days, dating included. But at the end of the day, maybe we all just want to ditch the algorithms and find connections that feel human again.

Or maybe we're all destined for AI spouses instead.

What do you think of the dating landscape? I'd love to hear your thoughts at srussolillo@businessinsider.com