Study Finds Pet Death Can Be Just As Hard As Losing A Person

Back in 2024, I lost my beloved pet cat Collie. I got him when I was just 21 and he died when I was 34. I’d navigated all the highs and lows of adulthood with him by my side and suddenly, after a very short illness, he was gone.

I remember feeling completely floored by the grief – and even as somebody that sees pets as family, I was surprised by how much losing my boy impacted me.

Even now, almost two years since I lost him, I’ll still experience moments of deep grief and despair which feel impossible to explain to somebody that doesn’t have pets. 

I was comforted and assured by those close to me that yes, this is a real loss and my grief is valid. I knew that I wouldn’t have my cats forever but that didn’t make the loss any easier.

Now, a new study by the National University of Ireland Maynooth has revealed that pet loss can feel just as intense as losing a person.

The impact of pet loss is huge

Research by Professor Philip Hyland of the Department of Psychology found grief following the death of a pet can be as deep and as distressing as that for a person.

In the study, 93% of people who had experienced the death of a pet had also experienced the death of a person.

When asked to identify the bereavement that caused them the most distress, more than one-in-five (21%) chose the death of a pet.

In fact, the study found that people can experience clinically significant levels of prolonged grief disorder (PGD) following the death of a pet. 

According to the American Psychiatric Association, symptoms of prolonged grief disorder can include:

• Identity disruption (such as feeling as though part of oneself has died)
• Marked sense of disbelief about the death
• Avoidance of reminders that the person is dead
• Intense emotional pain (such as anger, bitterness, sorrow) related to the death
• Difficulty with reintegration (such as problems engaging with friends, pursuing interests, planning for the future)
• Emotional numbness (absence or marked reduction of emotional experience)
• Feeling that life is meaningless without the deceased person
• Intense loneliness (feeling alone or detached from others).

The study found that 7.5% of adults that had lost pets met the criteria for PGD.

Pet loss should be taken more seriously, says researcher

Study author Professor Hyland noted that despite considerable evidence that people form strong attachments to their pets, and experience high levels of grief following their death, the current guidelines do not allow PGD to be diagnosed following the death of a pet.

He continued: “If people can develop clinically significant levels of grief following the death of a pet, then it is essential that this is recognised in the scientific literature so that mental health professionals can communicate with the public in an appropriate and accurate manner, and people who need, and desire, clinical care are afforded the opportunity to access it.”

The professor added that pet loss not being taken as seriously as losing a person could also be isolating those struggling with grief.

He concluded: “Considered in light of evidence that people view grief related to the death of a pet as less legitimate than grief related to the death of a person, and that many people grieving the loss of their pet feel embarrassed and isolated as a result, the decision to exclude pet loss from the bereavement criterion for PGD can be viewed as not only scientifically misguided, but also as callous.”

If you are struggling with pet loss, leading pet care charity Blue Cross can help. Visit their website or call 0800 096 6606 for support.

Help and support:

• Mind, open Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0300 123 3393.
• Samaritans offers a listening service which is open 24 hours a day, on 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE to call and will not appear on your phone bill).
• CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably) offer a helpline open 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year, on 0800 58 58 58, and a webchat service.
• The Mix is a free support service for people under 25. Call 0808 808 4994 or email help@themix.org.uk
• Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help through its advice line which can be reached on 0808 801 0525 (Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). More info can be found on rethink.org.