Whole milk is gross. I don't care what RFK says.

• The government's latest dietary guidelines suggest people drink whole milk instead of low-fat.
• This matters a lot for school lunches, where whole milk will get top billing.
• But for the rest of us: Who actually prefers sludgy, thick whole milk over crisp skim? Yuck!

I refuse the long arm of the government's reach into my refrigerator: I'm not drinking whole milk!

And I readily accept that food is political, so the fact that the latest dietary guidelines from the US government — which say to drink whole milk instead of skim — are being seen as the latest political battle isn't a surprise.

But there's something in the latest whole milk debate that is truly confusing to me. It's that … whole milk isn't very good? And I don't think many of us have felt we couldn't drink it because of government guidelines. We just don't like it!

Whole milk as a win for freedom?

Secretary of Health and full-fat dairy booster Robert Kennedy Jr. is a polarizing figure, so people are going to interpret this kind of video in a way that fits their worldview:

The government is positioning this change as people being desperate to drink whole milk but feeling they weren't allowed to. That they were forced to settle for skim or 2% milk, and finally, thanks to the Trump administration, are allowed the verboten pleasures again.

Here's MY beef: Whole milk is gross.

Whole milk is too sludgy, too thick. It always kind of smells like it's on its way to turning sour. I find the white residue it leaves on the sides of a glass off-putting.

Yuck.

One-percent milk is crisp, drinkable, watery, cold, and refreshing.

Great to drink on its own or as a bath for cereal. Personally, I think skim is too watery, and 2% too close to whole, but I accept those options as well.

For me, it's not any fear of fat intake that has kept me from buying whole milk; it's that whole milk is stinky and gross.

I should note here that the health benefits of whole vs. low-fat milk are a living, breathing debate. Whole milk has more saturated fat, which is potentially "bad," but it has more vitamins and enzymes or whatever, which are potentially "good." (Disclaimer: I'm not a scientist here, people! Don't trust me — do your own research.)

If you're truly interested in learning more about the details of the health benefits of dairy, I suggest you read this instead of listening to me whine about my personal milk preference. Don't listen to me about healthy food choices; my doctor shook her head sadly and said "noooooo" when I told her what kinds of garbage I typically eat for dinner (yes, my cholesterol is high).

For me, worrying about the milkfat content of my cereal is like worrying about which multivitamin brand to buy when I often go days without eating a fresh vegetable. I'm stuffing so many chemicals and processed garbage down my gullet on the reg that any kind of milk is the healthiest thing I'll consume by far.

Yes, I'm sure there are some of you out there who are adult whole milk fans and prefer it over skim.

Like whole milk? Know that I see you, I accept you, and you are valid. It's fine to have a taste preference.

But I simply don't believe there are throngs of adults out there who've been feeling forced to choke down 2% when they were dying for whole milk. You're a grownup! Buy whatever milk you like!

Of course, the main point of the latest guidelines isn't really aimed at making suggestions to adults. The actionable part of the guidelines is that they inform the rules for federal food programs for kids, like the National School Lunch Program, which previously only allowed low-fat milk options.

I don't really care if a kid prefers whole or skim milk with their sloppy Joe or PB&J — either option seems better to me than chocolate milk, which, according to my own elementary school children, is what everyone chooses at lunch anyway.

If the government is going to start meddling more with school lunches, frankly, I'd welcome them to start with the abusive fee structure in some of the digital lunch payment systems that many districts have adopted. My kids' school uses a payment provider for lunches that charges a $3.50 fee every time you add money to your kid's account (and requires separate accounts per sibling). President Trump, please look into that.

For me, I am not going to change my milk-drinking ways. I was raised in a 1% household. I will continue to buy 1% because it's delicious, and whole milk is gross, and Uncle Sam can't tell me what to do.