Dear Abby: My new hobby makes me happy. My husband strongly disapproves.
DEAR ABBY: I’m retired and have discovered a love for making bags, totes and purses with my sewing machine.
A few years ago, I started doing local craft shows — not because I’ve turned this into a business, but because it helps clear out the growing inventory. Financially, we’re fine. I’m not risking money we don’t have.
My husband, who still works, strongly disapproves of this. He says I’ve made a job out of a hobby, and he thinks it’s silly since I don’t really make money. He has even suggested I’d be better off throwing my creations away.
In truth, after a lifetime of working and raising kids, I finally have time to do something that makes me happy.
I feel torn. Must I stop doing something I love to keep peace at home, or continue and risk his ongoing resentment? It’s heartbreaking to feel that every time I try something new, I’m met with resistance.
— STILL STITCHING IN THE SOUTH
DEAR STILL STITCHING: Your husband appears to be more than a little controlling by attempting to tell you how to spend your free time.
Your hobby is what it is. It’s a source of pleasure — and it’s not meant to be another income stream. Continue doing what you enjoy and please do not buckle under the pressure.
DEAR ABBY: A few years back, my brother gave me a substantial amount of cryptocurrency. A couple of years after that, he did something that hurt me and my husband deeply and destroyed any trust I had in him. As a result, I have greatly reduced contact with him as well as my entire family.
When I explained how what he did made me feel and how it affected my life, my brother “sort of” apologized, but it wasn’t genuine — and during this fake apology, he mentioned he wanted his crypto back.
Because I had had some financial difficulties, I couldn’t give back the money. The cryptocurrency had been a gift. When he gave it to me, there was no agreement about paying him back or what to do with it. (He confessed that he had made a huge mistake by giving it to me.)
When I told him I couldn’t give it back, he sort of let it go. But now we are barely on speaking terms, and I feel awkward because I can feel his resentment.
I no longer trust him, and I’m not sure how to proceed. I’m not angry; I’m just cautious because of his previous careless actions and because he lacks a verbal filter, especially toward my husband, who is sensitive. How do I deal with the fallout?
— ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY
DEAR O.B.T.S.: I wish you had gone into more detail in the second sentence of your letter. If I have read it correctly, your problems with your brother have less to do with the cryptocurrency debacle and far more about how he treats your husband.
As I see it, you have every right to proceed with caution where your brother is concerned. If he can’t watch his mouth around your husband, some distance may be better for all of you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.