A Sexologist Shares The Reason Our Sexual Desire Dips In January

Despite knowing how miserable January can feel, many of us still feel smacked in the face by winter blues as a new year begins. 

Now, new data from Hily Dating App has found that Google searches for “no sex drive” are up by 104% over the past month alone, suggesting that as the festive season wound down, so did the nation’s libido. 

To help people understand what’s going on here, Dr Mindy DeSeta, a certified sexologist and sexuality educator at Hily Dating App, breaks down five reasons your sex drive often drops after the holidays, and what actually helps it come back.

Why our libido dips in January and how to revive it

Nervous system overload

The holidays can keep your nervous system in constant “hustle mode”, with weeks of adrenaline and cortisol from family dynamics, travel, hosting, and pressure to make everything feel magical. Your sex drive needs the opposite: safety, relaxation and mental space.

Dr DeSeta assures: “When you’re in survival mode, your brain focuses on getting through the day, not pleasure, so feeling ‘touched out’, irritable, or disconnected after the holidays is common.

“There’s nothing wrong with you; your libido is just reacting to stress.”

She suggested reconnecting starts with nervous system repair, which means more sleep, fewer commitments, quiet time, and low-pressure affection, “shifting you from ‘perform and produce’ back into ‘rest and receive’”.

Relationship tension 

Constant decision-making, high expenses, and family stress can stir up resentments or leave one partner feeling like they carried most of the load over the festive break. And when tension goes unresolved, sex often fades, not because attraction is gone, but because emotional safety is.

Dr DeSeta said: “If you feel unseen or stuck in “roommate mode,” sex can feel like an obligation rather than something playful. Repair doesn’t start in bed.”

Her advice here is to pause physical intimacy and focus on emotional repair, through conversation and low-pressure touch.

“When safety comes back, desire naturally does too,” she added. 

Cold weather and dry skin

Winter conditions like cold weather, indoor heat, hot showers, and dehydration can dry out skin and mucous membranes, so it’s common to notice more vaginal dryness, irritation, or just less natural lubrication than usual.

When discomfort shows up, the body tenses or avoids intimacy, which can lower desire over time. Dr DeSeta said the fix is usually simple: “Slow down, use more lube, and talk openly about pleasure.

“Some couples benefit from shifting the ‘script’ in winter to extended foreplay, more external touch, sexy massage, and less rushing into penetration. When the body feels cared for and pain-free, desire has a much easier time showing up.”

Less novelty, more logistics 

Once the Monday-through-Friday grind returns, routine can create a “roommate vibe”.

Dr DeSeta noted that “even enjoyable routines can drain novelty, and without it, sex can start to feel predictable or like another task (especially when you’re exhausted)”.

“When spontaneity disappears, it’s easy to assume something is wrong, when there’s simply no space being protected for intimacy,” she added.

If this resonates, the expert said the fix should be intentional, not dramatic. “Create small pockets of novelty and connection: a midweek mini date, a new playlist, showering together, switching rooms, or changing the script from intercourse to making out and touch,” she said.

“Desire often returns when intimacy feels playful and becomes something to look forward to, not ‘another to-do’.”

Doomscrolling

Doomscrolling is something many of us are guilty of – but realistically, it makes us more miserable and impacts how we connect with one another.

Dr DeSeta agrees: “When your brain is fried from back-to-back holiday plans and nonstop conversations, it’s tempting to check out and start doomscrolling. But scrolling actually keeps your mind ‘on’, and mentally pulls you away from the kind of real connection that fuels emotional and physical intimacy.

“To a partner, it can even land as a subtle rejection in the moment. If you want to recharge and support a great sex life, put the phone down. Aim for at least 20 minutes a day of distraction-free time with your partner (no phone, no TV) just the two of you talking and being present.”