How To Turn Overwhelming Emotions Into Action During Tough Times

We are once again living in difficult times and our political and social landscapes seem completely overwhelming. With the rise of the far-right, violent immigration raids and the cruel rollback on trans rights just to name a few, it can be hard to find hope anywhere.

Feeling helpless in these times is completely understandable and feeling overwhelmed with empathy for those hit hardest by all that’s happening makes a lot of sense, too. However, that empathy can quickly become overwhelming and leave us feeling drained.

In their book Sensitive: The Power of a Thoughtful Mind in an Overwhelming World, Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo argue that we should use this pain, this empathy and this overwhelm and turn it into compassionate action. 

They write: “When sensitive people practice compassion, it doesn’t just give them a rudder in the storm. It makes them an ark unto others. Almost nothing is more calming than the presence of a person with unflinching compassion.

“They care, but they don’t panic; they speak up, but they do not command. Compassion is a language all of us understand, and senstive people are among those who speak it fluently. When they do, they radiate trust and trustworthiness, care, and authenticity.”

I’m sure you’ll agree that we are all in need of that.

How to turn empathy into compassion

While empathy is a great asset and can foster healthy relationships, a deep understanding of oneself and others and often a kinder perspective on the world, compassion can elevate that to action which helps others. 

In fact, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by empathy, compassion is exactly the antidote you need. Studies show that compassion activates brain circuits that sustain resilience and buffer against the costs of emotional overload.

Psychology Today says: “Moving away from empathic distress and toward compassion involves compassion training, wherein psychologists use meditation-related techniques to foster feelings of generosity and kindness.

“Typically, this form of mental practice is carried out in silence as one visualises a person they feel close to, themselves, a neutral person, an enemy, and then expands to all of humanity. At each stage, the person is wished love, kindness, and freedom from suffering.”

This training has been shown to increase positive affect and wellbeing in everyday life. 

In other words, instead of taking on the emotions experienced by others and empathising strongly, participants felt greater benefits from helping others. 

Of course, ‘compassion training’ isn’t always accessible to everybody but Granneman and Sólo do have a free resource available here.

Small acts of kindness can make a big difference

Granneman and Sólo say: “Compassion can be a small gesture, such as sending a text to check on a friend or carrying a heavy bag for a neighbour. Other times, compassion means standing up to bullies, righting injustices and addressing our world’s biggest problems.”

If you want to get into the habit of acting with compassion, PsychCentral offers the following examples:

• buying a cup of coffee for a stranger you see having a bad day
• asking someone who appears upset if there’s anything you can do
• giving up your date night to go and listen to a loved one who is going through a challenging time
• volunteering in shelters and food banks
• sending a thoughtful, supportive message to someone you know is going through a rough patch in life
• picking up after yourself so someone else doesn’t have to
• helping with house chores
• not taking everything for you, whatever it may be
• being inclusive and making space for people with different experiences and preferences
• yielding the way to someone who seems to be in a rush
• offering your seat to others in public transportations
• asking yourself what else you can do for others today

Don’t forget to offer compassion to yourself, too

Albert Nguyen, a licensed psychotherapist from Palo Alto, California urges: “Give yourself permission to take a break or to feel your emotions,” he advises, “and accept that you’re human.

“Give yourself encouragement. Take yourself out on a date. Write yourself a self-compassionate letter.”

These are tough times. Be kind to yourself and others wherever possible.