Harriette Cole: My son cheated and got kicked out of college. Should I try to fix things?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son recently got kicked out of his college for going against the academic integrity policy.

I was so disappointed in him when he told me what happened. I raised him to value honesty and hard work, so this feels like a failure not only on his part, but somehow on mine as well.

He says that he knows he made a mistake by cheating and didn’t think it would lead to such serious consequences, but the school was strict with their decision, and he is no longer allowed to enroll there.

I’m struggling with how to handle this as a parent. Part of me wants to step in, call the school and do whatever I can to fix the situation or appeal the decision. Another part of me thinks that shielding him from the consequences would teach him that someone will always clean up his messes.

He’s embarrassed, withdrawn and unsure of what to do next, and I worry about how this setback will affect his confidence and future opportunities. He wants to apply to another college, but he doesn’t know if he will get in.

How do I support my son through this failure while still holding him accountable for his actions?

— Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: Help your son to accept what happened and move forward. His actions got him thrown out of his school. Encourage him to apply to another school, perhaps starting at the community college level and building up from there.

Only by facing his life can he define a way forward. You can cheer him on, but don’t try to do it for him. It won’t work.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a wife and mom, and I work full-time, which means my days are busy from the moment I wake up until I close my eyes at night.

With getting my kids ready in the morning, working all day, handling dinner, helping with homework and household responsibilities, it feels like every minute of my life belongs to someone else.

For 2026, I set a goal to start running. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years — not to train for a marathon or change how I look, but simply to have something that’s just for me and to feel healthier and to have more energy.

The problem is, I genuinely don’t know where to fit it in. Early mornings feel impossible because I’m already exhausted, and evenings are filled with family obligations and more exhaustion. Once I have a moment, all I want to do is rest.

I’m frustrated because this goal feels small yet completely out of reach. I don’t want to give up on myself, but I also don’t want to feel selfish or unrealistic.

How can I make time for running without feeling like I’m neglecting my family, my job or my responsibilities?

— Can’t Run

DEAR CAN’T RUN: It’s time to talk to your spouse. You need help managing your responsibilities. Ask for it.

Either get your spouse to handle some of the family obligations so that you can take a run in the morning or the evening, or find it in the budget to hire a babysitter or some other kind of helper to let you take time for yourself.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.