ARSENAL | ITALIAN 'TOTAL CONTROL' DEFENSIVE MASTERCLASS
Arsenal moved into their first final of the season with the type of disgusting win I could only dream about 15 years ago—back when managers like José Mourinho were teaching young people like me that you could control a game without really doing that much.
As fans, we’re a pathetic bunch, totally burned out from 20 years of average success, and near misses. We can’t handle the reality of this modern Arsenal team, which means we can’t enjoy games. I’m going to be really honest: my Arsenal friends ruined the game for me with their cowardice.
“This performance is terrible.”
“Why don’t we pick up the pace?”
“I’m so upset the football isn’t to my liking.”
What a bunch of chumps. All this talk about character, elite mentality, and going to war? We were at war with our own feeble emotions… and we were wrong.
Arsenal weren’t the team behind in this game. We didn’t need to chase down a goal. The protagonists were supposed to be Liam Rosenior’s boys. That well-rested group of expensively assembled players was supposed to come to Arsenal with some sauce and a bit of energy, intending to try and pick us apart.
What did they do? Literally nothing. They had one tame shot on target. That was one of the most unambitious games of football I’ve ever seen from a team in a semi-final. They were scared. They had no answers to our shape. It was a cowardly performance of the highest order.
The Media Narrative vs. Reality
And what was I hearing on the commentary?
“Rosenior will be the happier manager going in at halftime.”
“This game plan looks excellent from Chelsea.”
“Could be one of the great turnarounds.”
What was the game plan? Do nothing for 70 minutes, then bring on an expensive child and a guy who has two non-penalty goals this season… to shoot down the best defensive team on the planet, at home, in a cup semi? Dreadful plan.
… but you were scared, crying into your text messages, begging for the clock to go faster. For shame.
Arsenal were in total control. Was it a boring game? Of course. But why do the players need to burn unnecessary energy and take risks when they’re winning? Why not just see out an entire 97 minutes with no drama? Rosenior said that if he attacked Arsenal, he could have been killed. So instead, he chose to do nothing, and Arsenal fans on my feed, in my DMs, and on the damn podcast were saying, “That was some battle Chelsea put up.”
Umm… no, it wasn’t. That was pathetic from Chelsea.
The Kai Moment
What made it all the more beautiful was that the game plan they thought they’d get against Arsenal happened to them instead. Chelsea were pushing late, Arsenal broke, Declan found Kai in space, and the German rounded Sánchez to put the winner into an empty net before pointing at the Arsenal badge.
What a way to do Chelsea. Absolutely incredible.
I can’t really be bothered to go through individual performances because our game plan was simply not to waste too much energy nullifying a Chelsea team that was scared to play. Who cares if our attack looked shite? They weren’t there to look pretty. They were there to bed in and block, cut passing lanes, and swarm Chelsea players. Should we have had a penalty? Yes. But who cares—we won! Was it amusing watching their players cry at the end? Yes, because they thought they had that in the bag today. So many non-Arsenal fans thought Chelsea were going to take the win… and they were all dreadfully wrong. Why? Because this season is different. This team is made of more. This… might be the Promised Land.
Peak Italian Arsenal
Arsenal are the best-coached team in the league. We can go long, short, over the top, or in and around the box. We can play a high press, a mid-block, or a deep block. We are the first team in Europe to reach 20 clean sheets; we have the absolute right to think we can shut out a team over 90 minutes like a peak Italian side. But here’s the thing: if we’d needed a goal, we would have had the resources to make it happen.
I was a League Cup hater, but now I can’t help but think that late winner from Kai Havertz has done more for the team’s belief, confidence, and energy than anything has in three months. Those moments define a season. Kai is the most important signing we could have made in January, and we must protect his body at all costs.
I don’t care who we get in the final; I fancy us. Sunderland at the weekend pose a threat, but at home and in this mood, why wouldn’t we beat them, even with heavier legs?
That was magnificent. But Arsenal fans need to get into therapy, get the jitters out of their systems, and stop being so dramatic about what they are watching. We need to focus on our own confidence more than the boys need to focus on their game.
So, Wembley for Arsenal. City or Newcastle—who cares? We can beat either.
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