Are ‘Choremances’ The End Of Romance – Or Is It A Real Test Of Compatibility?

For modern daters looking for love, we’re definitely living in a Scheduling Era. First, there was “stack dating,” where we crammed dates into every free slot on our calendars. Now, there’s “choremancing,” which is either a surprisingly practical approach to romance or the most depressing development since dating apps were invented.

It’s no surprise that dating has lost some of the spontaneity and mystique it once had. We’re all following each other on Instagram, we can’t all afford fancy dinners, and honestly… we’re just tired. Dating feels less sexy these days — and maybe that’s OK. Maybe “choremancing” is a clever way to sneak romance back into our lives. Or maybe it’s not.

The term, coined by Plenty of Fish, describes a phenomenon that seems surprisingly common: About 42% of singles are “choremancing” without even realizing it. Yep — you might be doing it yourself, even if you’re already in a relationship, and not even know it.

What are ‘choremances’?

Did we freak you out by suggesting you might be “choremancing”? Don’t worry — it’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it’s one of those dating trends we’ve kind of been doing forever (like “shrekking,” aka going for nice guys who might not be your aesthetic “type.”). The difference now? It’s intentional. No more drifting into it unconsciously — daters are putting it front and center.

“‘Choremances’ are about turning everyday tasks into intentional date time,” according to Michael Kaye, Dating Expert at Plenty of Fish. “Instead of carving out a separate evening for romance, couples fold dating into real life.”

According to Plenty of Fish research, 42% of singles are already doing it, and more than two-thirds say it’s a surprisingly effective way to test compatibility. Low-pressure, efficient and perfect for busy schedules, “choremancing” is basically dating designed for people whose calendars are already packed.

Now that you’ve calmed down, let’s look at some real-life ways to “choremance.”

Plenty of Fish found that 58% of singles use dog walks to connect with dates, 25% schedule gym sessions together and 21% even do the weekly grocery shop as a bonding activity. It’s a way to mix romance with practicality — and, of course, having cute dogs running around makes conversation effortless.

Daphne T., who asked to use her first name to protect her privacy, 32, says “choremancing” forms the bulk of her time with her partner.

“We often walk the dog together, especially on busy days, as it’s the best moment to catch up,” she said. “We’ve also started working out together. I exercise every day, and this was a way to spend more time together. On weekends, we tackle things like the garden or DIY projects around the house. It makes mundane tasks more enjoyable.”

“That said, I did start feeling like we might be taking each other for granted, so once a month we each plan a special date-night surprise. It forces us to step away from practicality and just have fun together. We avoid just going for dinner, and instead do things like ice skating, cooking classes, or go-karting.”

Are ‘choremances’ strengthening or weakening couples?

Look, it can’t be any worse than some of the dating trends we’ve covered, like “freak matching” or “grim keeping.” Nonetheless, let’s take a very scientific and practical approach to see if “choremancing” is the new GOAT of dating, or an abomination the likes of Instagram’s location sharing.

Given that Plenty of Fish coined the term, we let them take the bat first:

“Overall, strengthening,” Kaye said. “‘Choremances’ help couples see what life together actually looks like, not just the highlight reel. When you’re navigating errands or routines together, you’re learning how someone communicates, compromises, and shows up day-to-day. That kind of real-world insight can build trust and emotional intimacy faster than a polished dinner date. The key is balance: ‘Choremances’ work best when they complement, not replace, intentional quality time.”

But we wanted a second opinion before we recommend grocery shopping together for Saturday date night, so we turned to someone who always tells it like it is, Sabrina Zohar, dating coach and host of “The Sabrina Zohar Show” podcast.

“I’m not opposed to ‘choremances,’” Zohar said. “Romanticizing daily activities with your partner can actually be a smart way to stay connected and prevent falling into a rut. There’s something grounding about turning mundane moments into opportunities for presence and play together.”

But she does issue a warning:

“That said, if ‘choremances’ are all you have? If the only way you’re spending time together is by tagging along to errands? That’s a potential red flag worth examining. It might mean the relationship has lost intentionality, or you’re avoiding deeper connection by staying busy together instead of actually being together.”

How can we differentiate between ‘choremances’ and falling into a relationship rut?

As Daphne shared, “choremancing” strengthened her relationship — until it started to feel like the bulk of it.

On the plus side, “choremancing” makes time for your partner, so you’re not limited to rare catch-ups. It also ensures chores are shared, rather than one person carrying the mental load. On the downside, it can leave you saving your time and energy for friends or work instead of your partner, which can make them feel overlooked.

Even in the early stages of dating, it can be tricky to gauge chemistry when most of your time together is spent in mundane settings.

“The difference comes down to intention and energy,” urges Zohar. “A ‘choremance’ is ‘let’s make this errand more fun by doing it together’ — it adds to your connection. A rut is ‘this is all we do now’ — it replaces real quality time. One feels like a bonus, the other feels like you’re settling.”

Zohar leaves us with a simple rule of thumb: “Ask yourself: Are we doing this because we want to spend time together, or because we’ve stopped prioritizing real dates and this has become the path of least resistance?”

Every relationship will include some “choremancing,” and approaching it positively can add joy to the mundane. But when dating or relationships become restricted to tasks — and never things you actually want to do together — it’s time for a wake-up call. And, according to Zohar, maybe some go-karting, too.