Legal Expert Shares 4 Subtle Signs Of Coercive Control
There were 49,557 offences of coercive control recorded by the police in England and Wales in the year ending March 2025, according to domestic abuse charity Women’s Aid.
This is an increase from 45,310 in the year ending March 2024.
Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. “Coercive control creates invisible chains and a sense of fear that pervades all elements of a survivor’s life,” said the charity.
“It works to limit their human rights by depriving them of their liberty and reducing their ability for action.”
Jessica Wilson, managing director at Eventum Legal, suggests that while awareness of coercive control has risen in the past decade since it became a criminal offence, many people still don’t know the full extent of what it can entail.
Signs of coercive control
Gaslighting
Merriam-Webster defines gaslighting as “psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories”.
This typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, said the dictionary, as well as uncertainty of your own emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.
Wilson added that it often involves “denying events, rewriting history or making someone doubt their memory and judgement”.
Isolation
Isolation is a key coercive control tactic that involves restricting or discouraging contact with friends or family. It can be subtle and gradual.
Wilson added: “They might not even say ‘don’t go out’, but their reaction makes you want to stay in and avoid seeing loved ones.”
Financial control
Financial control involves limiting access to money, monitoring spending and forcing someone to account for every expense.
Wilson noted it can start by suggesting they ‘help’ you manage your finances and then escalate to a point where you have nothing of your own.
Blame-shifting
Blame-shifting involves holding the victim responsible for the abuser’s moods or actions.
“This can include perpetrators saying ‘look what you made me do’ or blaming their outburst, [or] bad habits such as drinking, on the victim,” said Wilson.
“They can also withdraw affection or support as a form of punishment.”
If you are a victim of coercive control or any form of domestic abuse, Women’s Aid have a Survivor’s Handbook which can guide you through getting information, support and help to leave safely.
Help and support:
If you, or someone you know, is in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you are not in immediate danger, you can contact:
- The Freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, run by Refuge: 0808 2000 247
- In Scotland, contact Scotland’s 24 hour Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline: 0800 027 1234
- In Northern Ireland, contact the 24 hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline: 0808 802 1414
- In Wales, contact the 24 hour Life Fear Free Helpline on 0808 80 10 800.
- National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0800 999 5428
- Men’s Advice Line: 0808 801 0327
- Respect helpline (for anyone worried about their own behaviour): 0808 802 0321