Sleeping Next To Your Partner Can Have A Real Impact On Your Sleep

While it seems very romantic to share a bed with your partner and have those crucial resting hours together, it may not always be beneficial.

In fact, in my relationship, we didn’t sleep well together until we started sleeping with separate duvets. Absolute game-changer.

We spoke with Dr Ritz Birah, Psychologist and Sleep Expert for Panda London to learn more about whether sleeping together actually improves sleep or if it can be detrimental to getting those essential zzz’s. 

Does sleeping next to your partner improve your sleep?

Dr Birah shares that it can be beneficial for you but romance doesn’t really come into it, saying: “Differences in chronotype, movement during the night, snoring, temperature preferences or bedtime routines can disrupt sleep quality.

“Psychologically, repeated sleep disruption can create subtle tension or resentment, which may undermine the very sense of safety that makes sharing a bed helpful in the first place. In clinical work, I often see couples who care deeply for one another but are quietly exhausted by poorly aligned sleep needs.”

It appears that sharing a bed is actually partially a fine balance of lifestyle, routine and consideration.

Dr Birah adds: “Good co-sleeping balances emotional closeness with practical adjustments that protect both partners’ rest. When couples prioritise sleep as a shared value rather than a personal inconvenience, bed-sharing is far more likely to feel restorative rather than draining.”

The intimacy of a relationship can help, though

Dr Birah says: “From a psychological perspective, feeling emotionally safe plays a significant role in how well we sleep. When we share a bed with a partner we trust, the brain is more likely to register safety rather than threat. This sense of security can reduce hypervigilance and anxiety, making it easier for the nervous system to settle.

“Neurobiologically, this is associated with increased oxytocin release, a hormone involved in bonding and stress regulation, alongside reduced cortisol, which can support relaxation and sleep onset.”

For some of us, even knowing our partner is near is enough for us to settle into a restful sleep.

Practical ways to sleep better together as a couple

If you think you may have a little work to do before you feel the full potential benefits of sharing a bed with your partner, Dr Birah offers these tips:

• Align wind-down routines where possible. Similar bedtimes and calming pre-sleep rituals help both nervous systems transition into rest.
• Customise comfort. Separate duvets or layered bedding allow each partner to regulate their own temperature without disturbance.
• Address temperature differences. A slightly cooler room with individual layers often works better than shared compromise.
• Take sleep disruptions seriously. Snoring, restlessness or noise should be addressed early, as ongoing disruption erodes both sleep and goodwill.
• Allow space after connection. Physical closeness before sleep can be soothing, but most people sleep better with some physical space once they’ve settled.

Rest up!