Typo leads to epic furry parties all over Tehran

TEHRAN — A typo in an early version of a U.S. Central Command operation order has reportedly resulted in what defense officials are calling "the most confusing yet epic psyop of all time."

The scope of the error was not fully understood until early Saturday morning, when Israel and the U.S. began "major military operations" inside Iran under an operation dubbed "Epic Fury." But the operation had been mistakenly labeled Operation Epic Furry on a first-draft document circulated through the Defense Department's secure email system.

Spc. Seth "Klingon" Powers, a psychological operations specialist in the CENTCOM headquarters' psychological operations cell, reportedly saw the title and, without reading the document's text, assumed it was a social media influence campaign.

"As a native Portlander and former Army IT guy, Powers saw 'Epic Furry' and got fully onboard. He thought we were testing cultural destabilization inside the theocracy amid the ongoing protests," a CENTCOM public affairs officer said.

Multiple planned strike locations across Tehran were subsequently shared as party locations through Eventbrite, Partiful and Facebook as "underground furry rave gatherings." The listings were accompanied by neon wolf emojis and captions encouraging attendees to "bring paws, not politics." The hashtag #EpicFurryTehran began trending globally within hours.

Confused local residents who were reportedly bi-curious gathered at several sites wearing improvised animal costumes. Videos circulating online showed dancing crowds illuminated by strobe lights and occasional explosions in the distance. One X user, who declared it "the most epic furry party of all time," said the explosions had been initially confused for an elaborate pyrotechnic show.

The advertisements for the party were so prolific that even Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth saw them.

"I'll be honest," Hegseth said at a press briefing. "I first saw the hashtag while doom-scrolling late at night on the toilet — extreme stress has left me less than optimized for a bowel movement amid all the interdepartmental fighting." He paused. "I saw the energy. I even booked a flight. Packed my wolf outfit. It's a tactical wolf. Very lethal. Very American."

Hegseth said he did not realize something was amiss until he received a message that Epic Fury was go for launch just before boarding his flight.

"I asked if everyone else was on their way to Tehran," he said. "Then the JSOC commander told me to call him on a secure line, and the other commanders started writing, 'Sir, this shit is kinetic,' 'Get off that plane right meow,' and 'Do not go to Tehran!' That's when I finally understood."