Dear Abby: My co-worker has expressed his longing, but he’s married
DEAR ABBY: I work in an office with a man who has expressed an interest in me in various subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways, including winks. I have also caught him staring at me with intense longing.
We communicate well, and he has told me I have influenced him. We are both disciplined, determined and accomplished men. I envy him for his easy smile, his self-confidence and his effortless, universal appeal.
This man is married with grown children. I am a widower, 21 years his senior. I am prepared to say to him, “You are spoken for, and I’m not a homewrecker. If you are ever single again, you and I should have a serious conversation. But unless that day comes, much will remain unsaid.”
I suspect the two of us would have a good life together. I do not believe I am misreading his intent. Have you any advice for me?
— INTERESTED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR INTERESTED: This younger colleague may be as attracted to you as you are to him. However, he could also consider you nothing more than a valued mentor.
Because he is married, I’m concerned that if you say what you are thinking to him, it could disrupt your working relationship or even be considered harassment. Do not jeopardize your job by doing it.
DEAR ABBY: My husband vapes in our home, and I have run out of ways to get it through his thick skull that this is unhealthy, not only for his health, but for mine.
Even more upsetting is that he vapes when our grandchildren are here and when he drives them in his truck.
I have printed reliable scientific information for him, yet his response is always, “I know, I’m sorry, I need to stop.” It’s been seven years, so that’s how sincere his response is. He just continues trying to hide what he’s doing.
I’m not wealthy enough to pack his bags and change the locks. But maybe someone will read this and smarten up before they damage their loved ones’ health. Do you have any advice?
— THINKING ABOUT MY GRANDS
DEAR THINKING: I do, actually. You imply that your husband is addicted to nicotine, which is why he is vaping. Tell him that you will quit nagging him about it on one condition: that when he vapes, he must step outside to do it, which will ensure that you are not affected by it.
As to his vaping with the grands in the vehicle, how do their parents feel about it? Do they realize what Gramps is doing? Your next step should be to make sure they know exactly what is going on so they can put a stop to it.
DEAR READERS: This is my timely reminder for all of you who live where daylight saving time is observed: Don’t forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. Sunday. I look forward to it each year because it signals longer, brighter days and warmer weather. I find the extra light to be a mood elevator and an energizer. Spring has almost sprung! — LOVE, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.