The 'Homework First' Rule Can 'Backfire' For ADHD Kids. Experts Want You To Flip The Routine

This article features advice from Dr Mukesh Kripalani, a consultant psychiatrist at The ADHD Centre, and Tarryn Poulton, an occupational therapist and founder of Nurture ADHD.

If homework battles are a regular occurrence for you and your child with ADHD, it might be the order in which you’re doing things after school that could be setting you up for failure. 

That’s according to Tarryn Poulton, an occupational therapist and founder of Nurture ADHD, who shared on social media that doing homework first “always backfires” with ADHD kids. 

Typically, the hour after school is hard for a lot of parents as children can experience something called ‘after-school restraint collapse’ (where they basically become mini emotional volcanoes).

But for neurodivergent children and their families, this hour can be even more intense. You might experience meltdowns, refusal, tears and intense explosions of emotion over seemingly nothing.

Getting them to do homework then, even if it’s a simple or quick task, can feel nothing short of impossible. 

Why does this happen?

Dr Mukesh Kripalani, a consultant psychiatrist at The ADHD Centre, tells HuffPost UK: “School already demands hours of self‑control (sitting still, following rules, masking impulsivity), which is mentally and physically exhausting for kids with ADHD.

“After sustained effort, their ability to inhibit behaviour (hyperactivity and impulsivity) and pay attention is depleted, so extra demands like homework can lead to meltdowns, oppositional behaviour, or shutdowns.”

On top of this, children with rejection‑sensitive dysphoria (RSD) tend to feel criticism or perceived failure as intensely painful and “difficult to bear”.

So, if a child has spent the whole day at school fearing criticism, being corrected, or trying to avoid embarrassment, “one more demand or bit of negative feedback over homework can trigger disproportionate anger, refusal, or despair,” says the psychiatrist. 

“This can look like ‘sudden’ oppositional behaviour, but it’s often the overflow of accumulated emotional strain and masking.”

And then there’s fatigue and (sometimes) hunger feeding into all of this. “ADHD brains work harder to manage working memory, time management, and sustained attention, so schoolwork and homework are unusually draining,” says Dr Kripalani.

“When we add immediate homework to that fatigue; stress spikes, and inattention, avoidance, and task paralysis become more severe.”

In short: you’re going to be fighting a losing battle. They have nothing left to give at this point. 

“For many children with ADHD, pushing straight into homework after a full school day can increase stress, trigger emotional overload, and worsen behaviour rather than build good habits,” adds Dr Kripalani. 

What to do instead of asking for homework first

Poulton suggests children need to “decompress” before they do anything else.

She suggests creating a “landing zone” so the moment your child walks in the door, they get a snack; a calm, low-demand space; and a parent who is present, but not asking questions or trying to get them to do something.  

She advises giving them 20 minutes before asking for anything so they can regulate their nervous system.

After this point, she recommends providing opportunities for movement, whether it’s a walk or kicking a ball about; and then connection with you – give them your attention, listen to what they want to tell you, and signal safety. 

And now, time for homework!

The key here is keeping it “short, clear and specific” – breaking it down into chunks, and taking planned mini-breaks. Dr Kripalani recommends giving immediate positive feedback after each ‘chunk’ and rewarding them.

“Children with ADHD respond particularly well to immediate and frequent rewards; quick positive reinforcement works better than delayed or purely punitive approaches,” he says. 

“Reward systems (praise, tokens, small privileges) that are tied to effort and broken‑down steps can make homework feel achievable and more motivating.”

You’ve got this!