Oblivion player breaks the bank to keep paranoid elf alive throughout his murderous rampage: 'I have created Super Saiyan Glarthir'

One Oblivion Remastered player has gone to extreme lengths to keep one rather murderous NPC alive: and in the end managed to fix things so not only did Glarthir take care of all his tormentors, but massacred half the town's guards too, and got away with the entire thing.

The NPC in question is a wood elf called Glarthir, who's found in Skingrad and asks the player for some help. Glarthir's questline is called "Paranoia" and revolves around his belief that there's a conspiracy against him: he asks that you help prove his neighbours are wrong 'uns by following three of them around.

There are various ways this can go, but one option is to tell Glarthir that his suspicions are correct, after which he'll ask you to kill the NPCs in question. If you refuse to do this, Glarthir then takes matters into his own hands and sets off on a little rampage to take out the three NPCs he suspects.

Only problem is that Glarthir is not all that in the combat department. Let the game play out as normal at this point and Glarthir will, usually, be dispatched by the first NPC he tries to kill (who'll be aided by the town guards).

Not good enough for player Plane-Session-6624, who decided to devote themselves to keeping Glarthir alive (via GR+). Initially they tried the simple tactic of kitting Glarthir out with some sweet endgame gear, but...

"Told Glarthir everyone is spying on him," said Plane-Session. "I even went and bought him a set of full mithril and an elven battleaxe to reverse pickpocket. Turns out I can't reverse pickpocket in Remastered it seems… oh well."

The alternative plan was to buff Glarthir as much as possible. "I also have a fortify 100 strength and 100 endurance spell for him, and a powerful heal, but he just doesn't seem to be doing nearly enough to hurt the guards and I just can't keep my magicka up long enough to heal him through it."

Fellow Oblivion players offered various suggestions for how to keep the psychotic wood elf alive long enough to take out his enemies (as well as the guards that inevitably get involved). In the end, buffing the character's shield and blunt damage was what did the trick, alongside a powerful healing spell.

"I have created super saiyan Glarthir," said Plane-Session in an update. "He has mowed down hordes of guards, killed all his enemies… and got away with it all?"

Plane-Session buffed Glarthir with a "shield 70% spell, a fortify 100 Blunt spell, a fortify Agility spell which helped a lot preventing staggers, and fortify 100 END, along with a master level heal target spell. I spent about 4k on sorcery potions so I could keep all of these buffs active and keep his health up."

The first target is called Bernadette, and this terrifying new incarnation of Glarthir "made easy work" of it. But Plane-Session is also watching over him: "I sort of stand in her way when she starts to run towards the door so he can kill her inside without guard intervention."

Next comes the biggest fight, with Glarthir having to get through four guards before reaching his second target. Plane-Session intervenes by splitting up the guards into smaller fights, because buff Glarthir can handle a 1vs1, before they reach Toutius Sextius.

"Toutius is actually pretty tough, he runs to his bedroom door to leave, but I keep closing it on him," says Plane-Session. "Nowhere to run, Toutius. He helplessly tries over and over to open the door and leave while 100 Blunt Glarthir whacks him with an iron battle axe."

Last target: Davide Surilie. Glarthir makes his way to the house without incident, and another bout of door closing leaves Davide trapped in a room with a murderous wood elf and his buffed gear. Funnily enough this NPC has a brother, Gaston, who hears the commotion of his brother being killed and approaches the pair: "However, he lets us leave without violence and seems more concerned with the trespassing than with his brother's murder."

In a classic Oblivion moment, Glarthir then seems to kind of glitch out. He heads to Skingrad chapel and just hangs out, refusing to talk to Plane-Session. "Really Glarthir? After everything I did for you?"

Plane-Session helps Glarthir kill a couple more rogue guards, then leaves town and waits for four days. On their return, Glarthir is "safe and sound sleeping in his bed. Waiting further, he now doesn't seem to leave his house. So for now it appears he will live."

It's fair to say that this is an outcome Bethesda didn't prepare for: a random NPC should not be able to brute-force their way through several town inhabitants and take out half of the guards. But that's the magic of… well, magic I suppose, as well as one player's slightly odd fascination with helping a half-mad wood elf take out his enemies.