We have been pushed out of grandchild’s life by our daughter’s new partner
DEAR DEIDRE: WE are so worried about our daughter and grandchild and want to know how we can help them.
Our new son-in-law has told us his mum and dad are the little girl’s only grandparents now.
My husband and I are in our sixties, my daughter is in her thirties and we have a gorgeous three-year-old granddaughter.
A few years ago, my daughter split from her other half but seemed to be piecing her life together again.
My husband and I often looked after our granddaughter while she worked.
It was tiring but I loved being so involved.
But then my daughter met her current partner and things began to change.
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My husband and I have been pushed out, despite welcoming our daughter’s partner into our lives.
Things have really deteriorated since they moved further away from us.
Our new son-in-law constantly comes up with reasons to block us from calling in.
So we decided to make an unannounced visit but when we got to the frontdoor my daughter’s partner threatened my husband, saying we would never see our grandchild again.
My daughter has taken friends and family off her social media and blocked our numbers.
No one can get hold of her. What can we do to resolve this awful situation?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: This is extremely distressing for you. From your position, you are assuming that your daughter is being controlled.
However, you cannot know this is happening for sure.
Rather than tell her what to do, which may well push her away, let her know you are worried about her but will always support her.
She is an adult and will want to make her own decisions.
All you can do is be there for her, and be ready to pick up the pieces later.
I would recommend you contact grandparentsapart.co.uk.
It is an organisation that helps grandparents keep in touch with their grandchildren.
If your daughter does ask for some help, she can contact The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (national dahelpline.org.uk, 0808 2000 247).