The thirteen principles of vessel appellation
Some basic tips about what you slap on the transom.
The post The thirteen principles of vessel appellation appeared first on Points East Magazine.
June 2024
By Christopher Birch
No need to say more. Photo by Christopher Birch
Nautical legend tells us it’s bad luck to change a boat’s name. Whether you believe it or not, this enduring mythology impacts both superstitious and non-superstitious boat sellers in the same way: Many potential boat buyers would never consider changing the vessel’s name and thus wouldn’t buy a boat with a “bad” moniker. And even if they could live with the name themselves, some buyers would balk over worries about the misnamed boat’s resale prospects.
Avoidance of bad boat names has become a self-fulfilling prophecy in the used boat market. I haven’t taken a poll, but based on anecdotal evidence, I’d guess about half the boat buying public is a hard NO on the purchase of a boat with an undesirable name. A 50% reduction of potential buyers is something worth paying attention to.
Because of this reality high-quality, non-objectionable boat names should always be selected when building or purchasing a vessel. If the boat is federally documented, her naming history will be out there on display for public view. Many buyers will see a name change on the record and say, “No thanks.” A name change becomes a forever stain on a boat. Most boats will eventually be for sale, and with the future in mind, the smart sailor will proceed carefully when taking on a boat name.
Changing lettering on the transom can also be physically difficult. Once the old name is removed, the gelcoat or paint under the old letters will not have faded with the surrounding area and a glossy shadow of the old name will often remain. When you add a new name on top of the old shadow, it is often easy to read both names and the effect looks ridiculous.
Pro tip: A hailing port can be anywhere and does not need to be changed when home waters change as a result of new ownership. The port on the transom simply needs to match the port on the documentation paperwork. When purchasing a used boat, it’s smart to avoid the shadow and stick with wherever she came from. Think of it as a way to honor her history.
These Thirteen Principles of Vessel Appellation will help keep you out of trouble. Don’t bestow a name, or purchase a boat named by someone else, that breaks any of these rules:
1. The name must be for the boat and not about her owner.
Good: Luna
Bad: My Other Aspen, She Got the House, In a Meeting
2. The name must not be a play on the boat owner’s last name. (See rule #1)
Good: Whisper
Bad: Campbell’s Sloop, Devlin’s Beach, Barnoah’s Ark
3. The name must be for the boat and not about how her owner made the money to purchase her. (Again, see rule #1)
Good: Carina
Bad: Stock Options, Whole Life, The Five Cs, Crime Pays, Sea Section, EBITDA
4. The name must be a single word. (She’s a boat, not a horse.)
Good: Tabasco
Bad: I Like Big Boats and I Cannot Lie
5. Gender, if relevant, must be female.
Good: Eve
Bad: Adam
6. The name must not be a pun of any sort.
Good: Louisa
Bad: Nauti-Buoy, Knot Shore, Breakin’ Wind, Row vs Wade, Tax Sea-vation
7. The name must be easy to repeat on the VHF by a reasonably sober launch driver.
Good: Heidi
Bad: Les Jours Les Plus Doux Sont Ceux Passés En Mer
8. The name must not make for an awkward exchange on the VHF in times of distress.
Good: Dorade
Bad: Funny Cigarettes, Ac-Sea-Dent, No Worries, Titanic II, Sotally Tober
9. A catamaran name need not make reference to her obvious hull count.
Good: Stella
Bad: Double Fish On, Twice the Fun, Pas De Deux
10. A name need not make reference to her obvious hull color.
Good: Ranger
Bad: Mellow Yellow, My Tiffany Box, Redrum
11. The name must be a name.
Good: Jenny
Bad: Forget the Mayo, Error 404: Fish Not Found, The Boat
12. The name must not be intentionally misspelled or crude or both.
Good: Dove
Bad: Statutory Grape, Panty Droppah, Ship Happens
13. The name must not be snatched from a title in the self-help aisle in the book store.
Good: Alexandra
Bad: Gratitude, Kuz We Can, Carpe Diem
All names above are real names that I have seen on real boats. I don’t know how the transom became the best place in America for all of us to share a joke, but I do know it’s a bad trend.
If you purchase a sloop named Rose, and Rose is not the name of your wife/mother/daughter, you are not obliged to make a change. Instead, you and your wife/mother/daughter can just enjoy owning a sloop named Rose who wasn’t named for anyone. Never forget rule #1: It’s not about you.
When the day comes to name a boat, think about it carefully. I bet you can probably come up with something meaningful, clever, and alluring while still adhering to the Thirteen Principles of Vessel Appellation.
Christopher Birch is the founder of Birch Marine Inc. on Long Wharf, Boston. He and his wife, Alex, are now cruising full-time aboard their 36’ Morris Justine. Follow their voyage at www.EagleSevenSailing.com.
The post The thirteen principles of vessel appellation appeared first on Points East Magazine.