I stopped giving my kids big birthday gifts. Now, I take them on one-on-one trips instead.
Courtesy of Sandra Lee.
- When my daughter turned 9, I booked a sleepover for the two of us at a museum.
- Now, I make sure to take each of my kids on a trip for their birthday, without their sibling.
- I love the chance to connect with my kids on these unique getaways.
"I wish we did this every day", said my son as we played a game of UNO at the hotel after a swim in the pool, both of us still riding an ice cream-fueled high.
We were on his annual birthday trip, and just like usual, it was just the two of us. This year, I planned an ice cream tour scavenger hunt across six shops, all in one day.
As a parent of two, uninterrupted one-on-one time is rare. Between school schedules, activities, and the evening circus of family life with kids, most days are spent multitasking, not connecting. These short birthday trips have become my way of stepping outside that routine and reconnecting with each child individually.
They're not extravagant and only an hour or so away from home, but they've become one of the most meaningful traditions we have.
The magic of the one-on-one trip
The tradition started when my daughter turned 9. Instead of a physical gift, I booked a museum sleepover for just the two of us. It was the first time I realized how much the sibling dynamic, the usual competition for attention, goes away when a child is one-on-one with me.
We explored the museum together, shared cookies and milk, and fell asleep watching fish swim through the coral reef exhibit.
Courtesy of Sandra Lee.
As my kids have gotten older, these trips have become even more important, especially as they move into the tween and teen years. Being away from our usual routine creates space for the bigger conversations, the ones that don't happen in the car or at the dinner table. I think of it as an emotional bank account. Those 48 hours help sustain our relationship for the rest of the year.
We don't bring back much in terms of things, but we do bring back inside jokes and a stronger connection. Instead of just going through the motions of daily life, we're able to slow down, connect, and create moments that actually stick. At 11 and 9, my kids are at an age where these experiences carry more meaning and leave a lasting impression.
I make sure the trips are simple, but meaningful
I've seen parents on social media taking their kids to Iceland or France for birthdays. That's not my reality. Instead, I stick close to home, but try to make the trip extra special by looking for unique themes.
Courtesy of Sandra Lee.
Recently, I started turning to AI tools like ChatGPT to help plan the trip. For my son's ice cream tour, it designed a passport for us to check off flavors at every stop.
I also try to tap into each child's unique interests. For my daughter's birthday, we went to San Francisco's Japantown. We shopped at Daiso, ate sushi delivered by a bullet train, and shared taiyaki ice cream. A fan of all things anime and Pokemon, this was one of our favorite trips and one we keep talking about.
Courtesy of Sandra Lee.
To save money, I book mid-week hotels during school breaks when rates are lower. The hotel stay is a requirement, though. It makes the time away feel like an actual trip rather than an outing, and being away from home allows me to be fully present so I can connect with my kid one-on-one.