Giant tortoise retires after having enough sex to almost singlehandedly save his species
Diego, a Galapagos giant tortoise, is coming home. Having spent much of his roughly 130 years fucking every tortoise who (slowly, slowly) batted their eyelashes at him, the huge, scaly playboy has accomplished his mission of banging out a future for his species and is ready now to embrace a simpler, quieter sort of…