Stoke players determined to get relegated anyway

Stoke City players have vowed to continue their slide down the league table in tribute to sacked manager Mark Hughes.Hughes was given his marching orders on Saturday evening after being dumped out of the FA Cup by Coventry City, the first time the Sky Blues have beaten a team ranked higher than them since 1998.The 2-1 reverse represented an eighth defeat in 11 games for Hughes, but his players have vowed to fulfil their former boss’s vision, in tribute to his tireless work making them even more disliked than they were under Tony Pulis.Club captain Ryan Shawcross said: “Herbert [Mark Hughes] was building something rare and precious here, like a strange, beautiful bird that regularly gets beaten up by other birds.“We’re devastated he won’t get to prove against Man United that the [5-0] loss to Chelsea was no fluke, but we’re going to see if we can match it in solidarity with him.“The gaffer did all he could to drag us kicking and screaming into the Championship, and I foresee a lot more kicking and screaming at the bet365 Stadiumbefore the season is out.”Hughes managed Wales, Blackburn and Manchester City before everyone realised he was a gimlet-eyed mountebank, then Fulham and QPR afterwards.Now that his limitations have been proved beyond all doubt, he can look forward to seeing out his career with Southampton, West Brom, Middlesbrough, Crystal Palace and QPR again.Please note: This satirical news story is not real. Like, obviously.Back of the Net•More funny stuff