Protect your rights: Vote yes on Amendment 4 | Opinion
After the heartbreaking news that the child she was carrying had an untreatable medical condition, Danielle Tallafuss got an abortion at 22 weeks. It's a decision, she writes, that should be up to families, not politicians and special interest groups.
My husband and I started trying to get pregnant early in 2020, and I was surprised to become pregnant with my son Nathaniel almost immediately. You know how you hear that you shouldn’t tell people you’re pregnant until after 12 weeks? Well, my husband was so excited, he was on the phone telling everyone we knew within seconds of seeing the positive pregnancy test.
We heard Nathaniel’s heartbeat at 10 weeks, and everything was normal until his basic anatomy scan at 20 weeks and six days. The scan was on a Friday; they told us they couldn’t get good pictures of Nathaniel’s heart, and we’d have to try again another time.
By Tuesday, we got a call from our medical provider. They told us that it wasn’t just that they weren’t getting good pictures, but that my son’s heart seemed underdeveloped. They thought he might have a serious condition called hypoplastic left heart syndrome and referred me to a maternal fetal medicine specialist. It was gut wrenching to hear those words.
Treatment requires at least three open heart surgeries within the first two years of the child’s life. And those surgeries never actually fix the heart. They basically rewire things to allow the other organs to do more of the work. That means the other organs, especially the liver, are put under more strain. So, not only could his heart fail at any time, but the rest of his organs could start to shut down as well.
It tore us up, thinking about splitting our attention for months, if not years, between a baby in the hospital and our son Benjamin at home. We leaned on some amazing health care professionals who helped us figure out our options. But ultimately, thankfully, the decision was ours to make. And after some soul-searching, and a lot of tears, we decided it was best to end the pregnancy.
By then, I was over 22 weeks, and I knew we had to move quickly. The closest provider able to perform an abortion that far into gestation was around three hours away, and the procedure had to take place over two days. So, rather than pull my son out of his normal schedule, I packed a bag and drove from Central Florida to West Palm Beach with my sister, leaving my son and husband at home.
I want to emphasize, as painful as this entire situation was, I was incredibly privileged to access this care at all. I had a vehicle reliable enough to drive to another city. I also had enough money to afford an overnight stay at a hotel, and enough on a credit card to pay for the almost $5,000 procedure out of pocket. Above all, I had the support of my immediate family and loved ones, so I didn’t have to go through it alone. That’s not something that can be said for everyone in my position.
My abortion wasn’t about politics; it was about what was right for my family. It was a decision we made out of love, compassion and doing what was best, not just for the son we already had at home, but for Nathaniel, who would have had to suffer through treatments that most adults wouldn’t be able to handle before he could even take his first steps.
Now, anti-abortion politicians in Florida have banned abortion at six weeks, before many women even realize they’re pregnant. Anyone who would suggest that that’s reasonable is just showing how little they understand.
Every single one of us deserves the freedom to make our own decisions about our own bodies, choose our own path in life, and do what we feel is right for our families.
No one on this earth cares more about Nathaniel than I do. No one loves my son more, and there isn’t a politician out there who knows what’s better for my family than I do. That’s why I hope Floridians will vote yes on Amendment 4 to limit government interference in these decisions that should be between families and their health care providers — not politicians.
Danielle Tallafuss is a wife and mother to three boys. She works as a project management specialist in Oviedo.