Some Advice about Sharia for Clueless Newt Gingrich, Who Wants to Catch 'Em All: Set a Pokémon Go Trap
Newt!
You sly dog, you. Just when some of us were concerned that the Republican party was slouching towards respectability—it’s been like, what, four days now since Trump has said something insane and wildly inappropriate?—you come charging with your brilliant suggestion (which you then walked back, kinda) that we test every person of a Muslim background and deport the ones who believe in Sharia. Don’t let the eggheads who’ve actually paid attention to the tenets of Islam tell you that you’ve misunderstood just about every single thing about Sharia: in your American heart, Newt, you know better than the facts. And you’re not alone, brother: I’m here to help.