Chemtrail Legislation Is The New Normal In A Severely Abnormal America

It’s enough to make you want to shoot yourself in the face in embarrassment. It’s enough to make you want to dress as a mime when visiting Europe because at least you won’t be mistaken for an American. It’s enough to make you wonder how the Land of the Free became the Land of the Besotted Idiots so quickly during the four years overseen by a lame duck president more famous for sexual harassment, failed lawsuits, and bankruptcies than actual governance.

And yet, here we are. We live in a post-truth America. To be sure, America’s relationship with the truth has always been a bit iffy, given a history that includes genocide and slavery. But we always thought we were continuously improving, however slightly, year-over-year. That all came to a halt in 2016, when the Electoral College decided Donald Trump was our new president.

Trump had already shown he was incapable of competently managing property located on prime NYC real estate. Post-election, he proved he was incapable of managing international relationships, pandemic protocols, and his own re-election campaign.

But Trump did achieve something: he rallied the masses to proclaim his election loss “stolen.” He stoked the fires of several conspiracy theories, aided and abetted by tech shitlords (Elon Musk) and social media gadflies (Joe Rogan, etc.) to subvert the normal (if boring) operation of government machinery. Trump acolytes and supplicants took control of local governments, crafting spittle-flecked legislation comprehensible only to those incapable of understanding anything normal and willing to back legislation that reads more like a rejected letter to the editor than anything a legislator should ever seriously consider submitting to their legislature.

Thanks to this turn of events — spearheaded by a president who promoted conspiracy theories, referred to COVID-19 as the “kung flu,” and otherwise ensured no one would take him seriously but the least serious of constituents — the country is now overrun by legislators who have abdicated their responsibility to the general public in favor of embracing the most embarrassing members of their voting base.

And that voting base is filled with people too cowardly to just say “It’s the Jews,” even when represented by legislators who say “It’s the Jews.” It’s pre-WWII Germany all over the place, with the people who blame any outsider (immigrants, Jews, Blacks, liberals) for any friction they encounter in their personal lives turning out in record numbers to elevate the most shameless of bigots to governmental positions.

To justify this elevation of hate, voters (and the legislators that cater to them) entertain large number of conspiracy theories, including those that have been debunked for longer than they’ve been alive.

Enter the new era of “chemtrail” legislation. This new wave appeases an extremely shitty voter base by doing two things: giving credence to chemtrail conspiracy theories and/or preventing anyone from engaging in projects that might result in the limitation of greenhouse gases or other side effects of climate change.

It’s win-win for these fuckheads. And that’s why we’re now seeing batshit insane legislation spreading from the states you expect to see it in (i.e., the “Red” states) to areas where normality has long been the accepted state of affairs.

Let’s turn it over to Kevin Underhill and his insanely amusing and informational blog, Lowering the Bar. Recounting the recent effort by the Tennessee legislature to enact an anti-chemtrail bill, Underhill notes that the legislature was far too cowardly to enact an extremely helpful amendment that would have made it clear exactly what was going on here.

Sadly, the House refused to adopt a second proposed amendment to the bill, this one proposed by Rep. John Ray Clemmons (D–Nashville). Amendment No. 2 looked an awful lot like Amendment No. 1 (which inserted the chemtrails stuff), but with a couple of tweaks.

And what was this addition to the proposed conspiracy theory-coddling bill? Well, it was an amendment that treated the proposed law with all the respect it deserved.

WHEREAS, it is documented, among those within the pseudoscience of cryptozoology, that there exists a large and hairy human-like creature that inhabits forests of North America, and

WHEREAS, this creature is commonly referred to as a yeti, Bigfoot, or Sasquatch…

This amendment was rejected, apparently because the self-serious people engaging in chemtrail conspiracy theories felt this undercut the seriousness of banning something that wasn’t happening, has never happened, and will never happen.

[O]nly 18 representatives voted for the Sasquatch Amendment, with 71 voting against. 

But the problem is not confined to the areas where the voting base views itself as “conservative,” while approving of the government expanding its remit to cover anything subject to conspiracy theories, Jewish control, or involving non-whites existing in America.

As Underhill reports, even the great liberal playground that is the Minnesota legislature has been subjected to a conspiracy theory fueled bill by state legislators who appear to believe catering to the most ignorant voters is a long-term strategy worth pursuing.

Minnesota’s SF 4630 makes Tennessee’s bill look positively sane. That one would not only ban chemtrailing—or as the bill pseudoscientifically describes it, “stratospheric aerosol injection”—it is also super-worried about “excessive electromagnetic radiation” that the same conspirators are trying to harm brains and/or the environment with. And if you have been releasing “xenobiotic agents” in Minnesota, you could be in big trouble if this passes. What are xenobiotic agents? The bill defines “xenobiotic” as “foreign to the body or to an ecological system,” and I guarantee you that whoever drafted this thing has no idea what that might mean.

There are no safe spaces in America. As we’ve suspected all along, the people with the least common sense command the most power. While we’ve seen the occasional aberration over the years, four years of Trump has resulted in a legislative dynamic where being seriously stupid is not only acceptable, but might actually be the best way to ensure re-election. Canada has never looked so good, no matter what libertarians might opine about its free healthcare and general politeness.

The only things keeping America from becoming the new Third Reich are its square footage and its diversity. But let’s not fool ourselves. Legislators who’ve traded in their reputation for a remora-esque existence on the Trump Train deeply desire a country where bigotry is backed by government force. And while the current Israel-Palestine conflict makes it extremely difficult to go after Jews directly, the moment that pressure resides, these idiots will start dipping their conspiracy into the deep well of antisemitism that has always existed in this country, adding those “foreigners” to the long list of non-whites they believe are ruining what used to be a pretty great nation.