Stephen Colbert can't decide if Matt Lauer, Donald Trump, or Gary Johnson had a worse day

On Wednesday night, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump "held, like, a mini debate, like an appetizer debate, an amuse-douche, if you will," Stephen Colbert said on Thursday's Late Show. "It was the first time the two of them were in the same room since Trump's wedding." And since they were both on the USS Intrepid at the same time, "a lot of people were tempted to just cut the lines and let it drift out to sea," he said. Donald Trump kicked off his part by lying about supporting the Iraq War, but "the biggest question of the night was how the candidates plan to defeat ISIS, and Trump wasted no time wasting everyone's time." Colbert's summation of Trump's answer was brutal but pretty accurate.

"Since last night wasn't technically a debate, there's no real winner," he noted. "But many have declared a loser: Matt Lauer. See, the subject was national security, and the Today show host was an obvious choice for moderator." Colbert showed clips of Lauer dressed up as Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton, noting unkindly, "Paris, that's more foreign policy experience." If he was soft on Trump, "many critics slammed Lauer for asking Hillary Clinton the same question over and over again: Could you hurry it up, already?" he said. And "if last night's forum made you think about voting for a third party, you may want to rethink that thinkin'," noting Gary Johnson's "What's Aleppo?" gaffe. "That is embarrassing," Colbert said. "I haven't seen someone go blank like that since I was asked, Who is Gary Johnson?" Watch that and the latest news on Ammon Bundy below.